


Eight Count

by bri_ness



Series: Eight Count [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dance, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, yes another I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-03-21 08:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13736610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bri_ness/pseuds/bri_ness
Summary: Isak is a dancer who is losing his passion. Right when his best friend, Eva, needs his help with her struggling dance company.But when the famous Even Bech Næsheim joins their company, Isak thinks he might find inspiration again.(Or: every-cheesy-dance-movie AU).





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> So, hey. This was inevitable.
> 
> I love dance more than anything in the world. And, I love a cheesy story about falling in love and following your dreams that centres around dance. About time I wrote my own, right? :)
> 
> Special thank you to Rino (hippopotamus on here/@evenshands on tumblr/likely the author of your favourite fic) for indulging my dancer hcs, allowing me to send you dance vids, and always validating me. Your excitement gets me excited, and I love you so much that I’m still working on getting rid of this damn ocean between us. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy!

Isak still thinks he’ll get it back.

It’s a formula, really. If he does what he used to do, exactly like he used to do it, the result will be what it used to be. And he’s kind of desperate for that, so—

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, lets the music sink under his skin until it feels like his blood. This is his fuel, and this is his power. This is what keeps him alive.

He stretches his arm, contracts his chest—and no, this is where he has to be careful. Eva’s choreography is so comfortable on him, almost as natural as walking. He can’t get complacent here: he has to put everything into this. Every inch of his body, every ounce of energy, every fucking emotion he has.

And that’s the problem, isn’t it?

He expects it to get better when he locks eyes with Eva in the mirror. She’s always understood him, sometimes in ways he didn’t understand himself until they emptied themselves into a dance and he thought: _oh, I guess I felt all that_.

He presses his chest into her back, pushing them down to the floor together. Just before her hands meet the floor, he wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her, placing her down in front of him. Eva takes a count to smile at him over her shoulder, and this is usually what gets Isak. No matter how disconnected he is from what he’s doing, connecting with his best friend allows him to feel the freedom that made him want to dance in the first place.

Just not today, apparently.

When the music ends, Isak wants to feel relief. It’s a high he’s chasing: the adrenaline rush that comes with feeling everything you’re meant to feel, and the peace that comes with accepting those feelings. _Cathartic_ , that’s the word Yousef always uses. Dance is meant to be cathartic.

Instead, Isak feels tired, achy, and frustrated. Eva’s grimace suggests she feels the same. “That section’s not working,” she says. "I need to change it."

And Isak agrees, but, “I don’t think it’s the choreography.”

Eva’s kind enough not to say: _yeah, it’s you._ “No, it just feels off. Maybe it’s too jerky? Like, we can’t connect to it because we can’t breathe in it? What do you think?”

Isak thinks what he’s thought since their first duet. _I am holding you back from being as fucking brilliant as you are._ “Hey, you’re the choreographer,” Isak says, then grins. “I’m the talent. The charming smile, the twinkling eyes, the chiseled chest—”

“Oh my God. It was one YouTube comment, and I still think Julian wrote it.”

“Well if he did, he wrote it after we broke-up, which shows how hard I am to get over.”

Eva rolls her eyes, but she laughs, and Isak congratulates himself for being a decent friend even if he’s a shit partner. When Eva gets too serious, she gets insecure, and when she gets insecure, she’s mean to herself. And, the world throws so much bullshit at her. She deserves to have her own back in it, especially since she has everyone else’s.

When they were eleven, Isak confessed that he always hung around the skate park after school, without a skateboard, because he didn’t really like being at home. Eva told him that was ridiculous and insisted he hang out with her at her aunt’s dance studio instead. Though when Eva tells the story, she says she _invited_ him and didn’t _insist_ on anything.

Regardless, Isak didn’t need much convincing. He liked watching Eva dance: it was kind of incredible to see someone he’d known his entire life show off how fucking strong, creative, and honest she could be. It wasn’t long before Isak realized he wanted to try to be all of those things as well. 

His dad was happy to pay for the classes: if Isak was out of sight, he was out of mind, and that was convenient since there never seemed to be much room for Isak in his dad’s mind. He was busy with work, busy caring for Isak’s mother, busy packing his bags to fuck off to another town.

But dance was where he could process all of that, what he could pour all of his feelings into before they completely overwhelmed him. Through everything, and Isak’s been through his fair share of _things_ , he had dance, and he had Eva. That was usually enough.

He’s just not feeling it lately. And it’s not the first block he’s gone through, but what he assumed was an off day turned into an off week, then into an off month, and then what’s turning into an off year.

It’s not great timing.

“I’m stressing,” Eva says, and Isak drops his jaw as though to say: _no, you_? “This has to be perfect—and I know, I know, it can’t be perfect. Perfection is fake, boring, whatever Jonas says, but it still has to be really fucking good. I feel like I need to change everything.”

“Don’t,” Isak says. “See how that choreography looks on someone else first. Imagine Noora and Vilde doing it.”

Eva shakes her head. “If we can’t connect to it, they won’t.”

It’s harsh, but she’s not wrong. “Chris and Mutta, then.”

“They’re still learning how to partner.”

“Ok, then use this to teach them.”

Eva sighs. “Yeah, ok, but we’re running out of time.”

That’s not entirely true. Their dance company, Eight Count, is putting together a video submission for the _Modern Movement_ festival in May. The festival’s mission is to showcase new choreographers and companies in Norway, and it’s their chance to be seen and hopefully receive some government funding. If they book it and all goes well, it could give them opportunities to perform for actual audiences, on actual stages, for actual money.

Oslo is not Los Angeles. The dance scene exists, but it’s small, and there are only as many opportunities as there are people to create them. When you get one, you can’t waste it.

So even though it’s only February now and the submission isn’t due until the end of March, Isak’s sympathetic to the stakes Eva’s facing. It’s her company, and she’s the only one of them trying to do this for a living. He’ll do what he can to make this happen for her, and sometimes that just means talking her down.

“We have time,” Isak says. “And we have fucking good dancers who will make this work. We’ve got this, yeah?”

“It just. It has to work, Isak. I’m not good at anything else.”

Before Isak can refute that point, they’re interrupted by the other company members entering the studio. Vilde, Noora, and Mahdi, Isak and Eva’s friends from dance class, are the first to arrive. They’re followed by Yousef, Mutta, and his girlfriend, Chris, freestylers Isak met through one of his classmates in university, Sana.

It’s a classic _Step Up_ scenario of studio dancers working with street ones. Though the company’s style is a hip-hop/contemporary fusion, the blend hasn’t played out quite as smoothly as it does in the movies. Yousef’s slow to pick up choreography, Chris struggles with contemporary technique, and Mutta doesn’t know how to partner. Noora’s ballet training stops from her grounding herself , Vilde’s years on the competition circuit make it impossible for her to emote beyond a Vaseline-induced smile, and Mahdi’s tap background means he counts music differently than the other company members. 

And Isak, well. Isak just can’t dance with the same commitment he did when he was seventeen, so it doesn’t matter that he memorizes choreography quickly, or that his technique is solid, or that he’s a reliable partner. Without that connection, he can’t be good.

He wants that back, but he’s not even sure how he lost it.

Fortunately for all of them, Eva is good, and she knows how to make them good as well. She understands each company member’s strengths and how they can help each other. Isak still remembers being skeptical when Eva suggested that Chris and Vilde improv together, then nearly crying when they ended their dance in each other’s arms, more vulnerable than he'd ever seen either of them. 

Behind Mutta are three of his and Yousef’s friends: Mikael, Adam, and Elias, Sana’s brother. Mikael is holding a camera, and Elias is talking into it. “…And this is where it all happens. You’re witnessing Norway’s next big dance company—”

“First big dance company,” Adam interrupts.

“Anyway, these guys are going to be famous, and when you see them in a movie? You can say you were there from the beginning, back when they were posting desperate behind-the-scenes videos on YouTube. Mutta, what do you want to say to your fans?”

“To all 200 of my Instagram followers,” Mutta says. “Please, start liking my posts. Comment. Share my videos. I’m failing miserably.”

“That’s true, that’s true,” Elias says. “Yousef, what about you?”

Yousef shoots a glance towards Eva, who is not impressed. “I’m sorry,” he says. “They just kind of…follow me.”

“We have two hours of rehearsal time when we’re all free,” Eva says. “And can get the studio. _Two_.” 

“Eva, we’ve got you,” Elias says. “This is how you a build following. If they connect to you as people, they’ll connect to you as dancers.”

“We’re not that interesting, though,” Mahdi says.

“Well, I haven’t done the big reveal yet,” Mutta says, wiggling his eyebrows at the camera. “I have news, and we’re going to get everyone’s reaction on camera.”

Adam gasps. Isak understands why Sana invites herself over to his place to study whenever Elias’s friends come around.

“Unless the news is that you magically freed everyone up to get _three_ hours of rehearsal time, I’m not interested,” Eva says.

“What if I told you it’s about Even Bech Næsheim?”

Eva’s expression shifts to one Isak can only describe as _interested_. Isak's a little interested himself. 

“He texted me,” Mutta begins, but Mikael cuts him off.

“Wait, no. He texted _me_ and told me to tell ‘the guys.’ I don’t know if you’re even part of ‘the guys.’ You’re just always around.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Mutta continues. “He texted me and said he’s moving back home. For good.”

Isak suspects the dead silence is not the response Elias wanted for his vlog.

“He’s leaving L.A.?” Eva asks. “Really? Do you know why?”

“Something about how the scene’s not for him,” Mutta says with a shrug. “But I asked him if he’s still dancing, and he said he’ll always dance. So, I asked if he might be interested in dancing with us.”

“Oh God, that’s embarrassing,” Eva says. “He’s like, actually a professional dancer.”

 _So are you_ , Isak wants to say. She just wasn’t able to move to L.A. at nineteen like Even did.

Mutta hands her his phone. “Check out his replies to the videos I sent.”

“Hey,” Mikael says as Eva reads the texts, then taps the camera. “This is read-aloud time.”

Eva rolls her eyes, but obliges. “You guys are really good," she reads. "People don’t dance like that out here.” She looks up from Mutta’s phone. “Is that a good thing?”

“Keep going,” Mutta urges.

“I’d love to check out a rehearsal when I’m back. If that’s cool,” Eva reads. “And then you replied with the sunglasses emoji?"

“So he’d know exactly how cool it is,” Mutta says. “This is huge, right? Even has over 100,000 followers. If he joins our company, people will know who we are.”

“But he hasn’t posted in months,” Isak says.

Everyone stares at him, and he blushes. He only met Mutta and Yousef after Even had moved, but he’s been a fan since Even’s follower-count was only three-digits.

“He’s still a brilliant dancer,” Chris says into the camera. “Just so you don’t think we’re using you, Even.”

“Can you turn that off?” Eva says, then gestures to Mikael, Elias, and Adam. “And can you guys just…go away? So we can talk about this?”

“Alright, alright,” Mutta says. “You heard her: it’s official business time. Out.”

“Can’t believe this is the thanks we get,” Adam says. Yousef takes it upon himself to quietly usher them out.

“Well?” Mutta says once his friends are gone. “Come on. We should be excited about this.”

“We can’t just add a new person to the company,” Vilde says. “It throws off the chemistry.”

“And then we’d be nine,” Isak says. “Our pun wouldn’t work anymore.” If Isak’s insecure in his dancing now, dancing beside _Even Bech Næsheim_ isn’t exactly going to boost his confidence.

“Mutta has a point, though? There are people who will watch anything he does,” Noora says, then glances at Isak. “If our goal is to be seen…?”

“That’s not our goal,” Eva says. “Our goal is to be good enough to earn opportunities ourselves.”

“It doesn’t matter how good we are if no one watches us,” Mutta says. “If you pirouette in a forest when no one’s around…?”

“And don't you think he’ll make us better?” Chris says. “He’s good. Sorry, but he’s probably better than any of us.”

“But he doesn’t know our style,” Yousef says, surprising Isak. Like Mutta and the rest of their crew, he was apparently friends with Even in high school. “Eva will have to change the choreography.”

“Eva already changes the choreography every day,” Chris says. “And he’ll learn the style. Look, all he wants to do is check out a rehearsal. We can’t let him do that?”

“No, we can,” Eva says. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Maybe he’ll show up and realize we’re too dramatic for him, anyway.”

“Not likely,” Mutta says. “But yeah, let’s just let him come and see what happens. Go with the flow. I don’t want to go back on the sunglasses emoji.”

“Nor does anyone want that for you,” Eva says. “Ok. That’s what we’ll do, then. Now, can we actually dance?”

It’s not a smooth rehearsal, but it rarely is given how little time the eight of them get to spend together. Vilde’s right, and Isak doesn't say that lightly: adding a new person into the mix they have to learn how to trust is going to fuck with the chemistry they’ve already worked for. And the tension around the decision, the anxiety, hangs over their rehearsal, stops them from fully committing to the movement and each other.

“You felt that, right?” Isak asks Eva when they’re kicked out of the studio by three-year-olds in tutus. “It was off? I think people are nervous about Even.”

“It’s been off for weeks,” Eva says, taking a swig of her water. “I don’t know. Maybe Even's energy could help us." 

“We don’t know what kind of energy he’ll bring.”

“Well, we know he’ll bring Instagram followers.”

“You care about that?”

“I don’t want to?” Eva says. “But fuck, Isak. Mutta’s not wrong. I’m never going to make a career of this if no one sees my work.”

Isak can’t argue with that. If Even joining will help make Eva’s dream come true, of course he’ll get on board.

“Ok. I get it." 

Eva furrows her eyebrows. “You know, I kind of thought you’d be thrilled about this. Unless—oh, Isak! You’re nervous about dancing with a cute boy!”

“Shut up.”

“He is quite handsome. Strong, too. And you know he has _emotional depth_ if he dances like that.”

“I will walk out and never talk to you again.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

Isak flips her off, and Eva rolls her eyes. “Come on, Isak. What’s actually making you nervous? Let me do my best-friend-duty, please." 

Since he first opened up to Eva at  eleven, Isak’s never regretted it. “I’m not as good as him.”

“Oh, God. Should’ve have known it was your massive ego.”

“So, good talk—”

“No, Isak. You’re good. And I know you don’t feel like yourself lately or whatever, but you can be good again. It’ll take time, and some hard work, perhaps a hot boy to make you realize the dance was inside of you all along—”

“Ok, we’re ending this conversation now."

“You’ll get it back, though. I know you will.”

\---

Like every Friday night, Isak’s scrolling through Instagram.

Eva’s posted two photos side-by-side: one is of her in the studio this morning, and the other is of her with her boyfriend, Jonas, in front of a party pizza. Its captioned: _life’s all about balance._ They invited Isak to join because he's become friends with Jonas too, but he’s tired of thirdwheeling. He can't be in every corner of Eva's life. 

Vilde’s posted a series of selfies with inspirational quotes that make Isak rolls his eyes. Sana’s posted a picture of her and Yousef on the basketball court, which Isak comments on: _Wow, no one would ever think you’re dating based on this picture. I don’t know how those rumours ever started._

Sana’s quick to reply: _When was your last date, Isak?_

Well, that was Julian. And that was…a year ago, now? He doesn’t think he misses Julian, but he definitely misses something.

Mutta posted a picture before rehearsal started of him outside the studio captioned: _About to do THE REVEAL!!!_ @evenbechnaesheim

Isak clicks on Even’s username. The last video is from June. He’s seen it before, of course, but of course he’s going to press play again.

Watching Even dance reminds Isak of sacrifice, a concept his mom talks a lot about. _The disciples gave up everything to follow Jesus, Isak. Isn’t that incredible_?

 _Fucking terrifying_ , Isak always thought, and he feels a similar fear when he watches Even dance. Because fuck, he really surrenders everything to it; it’s like his body works before his mind does, like he’s trusting it to guide him wherever he needs to go.

It means that his lines aren’t perfect, he can look a bit chaotic, and sometimes he falls—but, if it isn’t the most fucking captivating thing Isak’s ever seen.

Isak can’t dance like that. At his best, he couldn't dance like that. 

He doesn’t know he’ll dance with Even, if he’ll even get the opportunity. God, if he holds Eva back, imagine how much he’d hold Even back? That’s mostly what he feels as he scrolls through Even’s feed, anxiety creating a pit in his stomach.

But. There’s a little excitement there, too.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the excitement after the first chapter! ❤️ I'm really having fun with this one. :) 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy!

It doesn’t matter how many times Isak watches Even dance.

It should. After watching a video for the third or fourth time, Isak should be able to appreciate it as an artistic piece without getting invested in it. But even on the tenth, twenty-first, thirty-sixth viewing, Isak’s heart is at the mercy of whatever Even does with his body. When his moves are quick and incomplete, rushed and jagged, Isak feels his anger. When they’re slow and long, small and unsure, Isak feels his sadness. When they’re big and full, energetic and bold, Isak feels his joy.

Every time, Isak is fucking enchanted by Even.

“Oh my _God_.”

Isak breaks out of his Even-induced trance and glances at Eva. “What?”

“His foot was sickled there. Did you see it?”

“That’s it,” Isak says, pausing the fan-made compilation of Even’s videos. They’re watching it together on Eva’s laptop at her kitchen table. “Call Mutta and tell him that Even can’t come. It doesn’t matter that he’s the best dancer in Norway, or that he has more followers than all of us combined. If he had a _sickled foot_ , in an improv video, we don’t want him.”

Eva rolls her eyes. “I was just pointing it out. That’s my job.”

“Uh huh.”

As Isak presses play, Jonas leaves his post at the stove and comes up behind them. He begins to massage Eva’s shoulders, and Isak watches her smile in a way that he usually only sees when she dances. She always been a flirt, hooking up with more people than Isak even knows about, but she used to claim that dance was the only serious relationship in her life. Maybe that’s not true anymore.

Isak’s a little jealous, but not of the relationship. It’s just that he’s not in love with anything, and because he remembers what dancing used to feel like, what being with Julian used to feel like it, he knows it’s really fucking nice to be in love. Mostly, he’s glad Eva’s chosen Jonas to love, and not one of the many fuckboys or party girls Isak used to meet in her apartment.

“That’s Even?” Jonas asks, and Eva nods. He looks towards Isak. “Good looking guy, right? Strong jaw. Nice eyes.”

“Yes,” Isak says. “I can objectively say that he is an attractive man.”

“Just saying. If you want to try dating again—wait, who’s that?”

The compilation has moved on to a class video, and Isak immediately recognizes the girl on screen.  “Sonja, his on-and-off-again girlfriend. They moved to L.A. together. But he’s been with an American guy out there, too: Clark, or Clay, something like that.”

“You might be a stalker,” Eva says. “But at least you know what’s up.”

“I just follow him on Instagram.”

“Well, Mutta didn’t mention either of those people moving here with him, so I think you have a chance.” Eva wiggles her eyebrows. “Wait, is he going for a lift? None of the other couples are doing that! Oh my God, that’s so fucking dangerous.”

“He doesn’t drop her, though,” Isak says before the video confirms as much. He’s seen this one more than a few times. “It actually looks really cool.”

“Yeah, but you can’t have someone going rogue in a company.”

“It’s a class video.”

“But maybe we don’t want someone that impulsive? I don’t know. The more I think about this, the more I worry that we’ll just fuck up what we have.”

And Isak understands why they’ve been obsessing over Even’s videos for the past hour. “Hey,” he says. “He’s not better than your choreography.”

Eva opens her mouth to argue, so Isak says, “Take a beat.” It’s their advice to each other in dance and the rest of their lives: take a beat to breathe, take a beat to think, take a beat to centre yourself.

“He’s going to improv, and it’ll be better than what I’ve spent months choreographing.”

“Ok, say that happens. The whole point of improv is that it’s in the moment: you can’t recreate it. We could do your choreography a hundred times over and move people every time. It deserves a dancer like Even.”

Eva doesn’t have a response to that other than a smile, which Isak returns. She slips out of Jonas’s grasp and stands up. “Ok, I’m going to change before dinner,” she says.

“But babe, your sweat stains are so sexy,” Jonas says.

Eva flips him off before she disappears into her bedroom.

“Thank you,” Jonas says once her door is closed. “She gets so in her head, and I don’t know how to pull her out of it. I’m just—I’m glad she has you.”

It’s not that complicated. Isak stood beside Eva as teachers told her she didn’t have the focus she needed to excel in class, as judges explained that her technique wasn’t strong enough to place in competitions, as choreographers claimed she didn’t have the _right look_ for their projects. Not to mention the YouTube and Instagram comments that call her choreography everything from uninspired to _a total fucking mess that’s insulting to dance._

“Just tell her that she’s good,” Isak says. “Pretend you’re a walking inspirational poster and tell her that she can do anything if she believes in herself.”

Because despite all the criticism that comes her way, Eva’s the most ambitious, brave, and fucking talented person that Isak knows. He won’t let her get in her own way.

Even if that means Isak’s about to make a fool of himself in front of Even Bech Næsheim.

\---

“You’re tall.”

Isak’s known Even Bech Næsheim for less than a minute, and he has already made a fool of himself.

Even laughs, and the sound makes Isak want to dance. “Yes, I am,” he says. “So are you. Isak, right?”

“Yeah. And I meant like, taller than you look in your videos.”

Even nods and moves on to greet Vilde. Isak locks eyes with Eva and mouths, _I hate myself._

 _You should,_ she mouths back.

Nothing like the support of a best friend.

Even’s open and warm as he introduces himself to everyone, and actually, Isak’s noticing a lot more than how tall he is. His smile is brighter in person, and his muscles are more evident through his shirt. And his lips—they are damn nice lips.

Mutta practically hangs off him, pointing to him whenever he speaks as though to say: _look at this guy! Isn’t he great?_ Other than accepting a quick hug from Even and muttering _good to see you_ , Yousef keeps his distance.

It’s weird. Yousef’s quieter than Mutta, not a high-bar to clear, but he’s no less affectionate.

“Ok,” Eva says once the formalities are over. “Even, we thought we’d start by showing you what we’re working on. Then maybe you can try some of it, and we can improv a bit? Just feel things out?”

“Sure,” Even says. “That sounds great.”

Everyone takes their position as Even sits against the mirrors. Isak’s thought a lot about dancing with Even—specifically, the way Even’s fingers would feel pressing into his back, or how Even’s hand would feel supporting his ass in a lift—but he hadn’t really considered that Even would just _watch_ him dance.

While he knows he’ll execute the choreography well, he also knows that he’s not going to enchant Even the way Even enchants him. And, Even seems like the kind of guy who enjoys a good enchantment.

The thing is, Isak does too. He fucking loves how he feels when he watches Even dance, and he wants to create that feeling though his own dancing again. He’ll try to in this rehearsal like he tries to every rehearsal, but he’s not all that optimistic.

Their piece is to _Håper du har plass_ by Cezinando, and it has a vague story that Eva describes as _people realizing they need each other._ In the beginning, they’re all doing the same choreography, but separately. As the music builds, they each find a partner: Isak and Eva, Mutta and Chris, Noora and Vilde, and Mahdi and Yousef. Most of the choreography is synchronized, but each pair gets a moment in the spotlight to showcase the style they’ve developed together. Throughout the piece, the pairs work together, and by the end, they’re all dancing as a group.

He’s seen Noora and Vilde in tears at the end of rehearsal, Yousef making a point to check in with everyone, even Mahdi smiling like he got caught up in the sentimentality of it. Isak’s never really got it.

If he’s going to connect to this dance at any point, it will be when he first connects with Eva. And Isak tries, he tries to focus on her love for her, the unique, of beautiful way in which they depend on each other, but he has to make sure his hands are in the right spot for the lift, and that his shoulders are down, and that his feet aren’t sickled—

He still feels like he’s just doing choreography. He’s not dancing.

Isak catches Eva’s frown as the music fades and Even applauds: it was off her for her too, and it’s his fault. Again. Isak’s starting to believe they’ll never get it right.

“What are we doing wrong?” Eva asks, but the question’s not directed at Isak. She’s looking at Even, and Isak remembers that Eva doesn’t believe in _never_ ’s. She’ll work until she figures it out, and Even is the perfect person to help her.

“Oh, I thought it was great,” Even says. “Really good.”

“Ok. No bullshit this time?”

Even blinks, taken aback. “I don’t want to criticize—”

“Which means there’s something to criticize. If you’re going to be part of this, which whatever, you probably don’t even want to be anymore, you need to be honest. That’s our number one rule.”

“It is?” Mahdi asks, and Eva glares at him. “Right, sorry. Of course it is.”

Isak’s, apparently, broken their number one rule on more than one occasion.

“Ok,” Even says, standing up. “That’s just it, then. Don’t get me wrong: you’re all strong, talented dancers, and the choreography was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It was really, really beautiful. But, when you were dancing, it didn’t feel like you were telling the truth.”

“How so?” Eva asks.

“Well, like in the beginning,” Even says, stepping closer to her. “That’s meant to be your loneliest moment, right? That’s such a desperate feeling, when you only have yourself, but some of you are dancing with confidence. It might feel more real if you dance like your body is all you have, and you understand how limiting that is. Like, look towards the end of your extension and think: _oh fuck, there’s nothing beyond that._ And when you fall, really fucking fall, make it hit. That’s going to make it so much more powerful when you look up and see your partner.”

There’s a long silence. Chris is the one to break it.

“You’re so fucking wise,” she says.

“Isn’t he?” Mutta beams.

But ok, it’s one thing to _say_ all of that, but what does it actually look like? How the fuck do you do it?

“Can you show us?”

Isak’s surprised by his own voice, but he’s fucking knocked out by Even’s smile in response to it.

“Yeah, sure. Can you help me? Teach me a few eight counts?”

This is starting to sound like the dream Isak had last night, though they’re wearing more clothes in reality. “Ok.”

As Isak runs through the beginning with Even, he watches them side-by-side in the mirror. When Even’s learning, they actually don’t look that different. If anything, Isak’s technique is stronger. For a moment, Isak believes he could be as good as Even.

The moment ends once Eva turns the music on. Even doesn’t know the choreography that well, but there’s a desperation in his movement, almost a plea, that is more captivating than Isak’s clean turns.

Isak keeps coming back to _sacrifice_. Even gives himself to whatever emotion the dance calls for. It’s really fucking brave.

“Ok, I was shit,” Even says when Eva turns the music off, laughing. “But do you see what I mean? Or am I just a pretentious asshole who should show himself out now?” He looks to Isak when he says the last bit, the smallest smile on the corner of his lips, like they’re in a joke now.

Isak’s definitely in something with Even now. Awe. Infatuation. Whatever the word is for admiring someone, envying them, and kind of wanting to kiss them.

“No, that was great,” Eva says. “Do you mind trying the beginning of the partnering, too? So we can see that? I’m sure Isak won’t mind helping you again.”

Eva grins at Isak, but he can’t be too annoyed at the set-up. “I don’t mind,” he says. “We’ll go from the turn before the fall, then I’ll teach you the lift?”

“Sure.”

When Isak does the choreography, he completes his turn, then he falls. Two separate moves performed one after the other. When Even does it, he falls out of his turn and onto the floor, blending them together like a cause-and-effect. And when he hits the floor, Isak not only hears the impact, but feels it through his feet.

Isak explains the mechanics of the lift: really, all he’s doing is pulling Even to his feet. “Then you really need to pull me,” Even says. “The person on the floor should almost go as limp as they can without becoming dead weight. Show that it’s a struggle to get them standing up.”

With his hand on Even’s forearm, Isak pulls to lift him to his feet—and _fuck,_ he’s definitely heeding his own advice, because it’s a struggle. Using too much force, he gets Even standing, but also makes both of them stumble as they try to find their footing

Even seems impressed once the lift’s complete. “You’re strong.”

“You’re heavier than you look, holy fuck.”

“And you still got me standing again.” Even turns to address Eva. “Even with the stumble, that was better, right?”

“I actually kind of liked it,” she says. “It shows things aren’t automatically perfect once you have someone. I want to work it into the piece." 

“Whatever you think, boss.”

Eva smiles. “You want in?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“Obviously. I didn’t even know my work could look like that.”

“Not to interrupt,” Vilde says, doing just that. “Even, you’re great, but this piece is choreographed for eight people. We throw off the entire thing with an odd number.”

“No, we just have to get creative!” Mutta says. “The ninth person can have a different character. Add another level to the story.”

“Like a fairy godmother who brings all the couples together,” Chris says.

“Or, if you want to go the heartbreaking route,” Even says, and Eva nods at him to continue. “Maybe there’s one person who’s lonely the entire time. As everyone else gets paired off, they’re chasing that feeling by dancing around them, maybe even literally hanging off them.”

“But they should get incorporated into the large group in the end,” Yousef says. “For a happy ending.”

Outside of the dance, it’s the first time all rehearsal that Even’s smile falters. “I’m just not sure how realistic that is.”

“I personally like a happy ending,” Noora says.

“Me too,” Eva says. “But I think that person should be you, Even? Because then no one has to learn an entirely new part, and it seems like you know how to tell that story.”

“Yeah. I think I can.”

So, they get to work. It’s an unorganized, slightly chaotic rehearsal as Eva and Even work to choreograph him into the piece, but everyone’s a bit more inspired to put the work in for it.

At the end of rehearsal, Even approaches Isak. “Thanks for helping me today.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

And then he just looks at Isak, staring with that small smile again. Isak doesn’t mind: he likes having an excuse to look at Even too.

“You know,” Even says. “I watched your videos.”

Isak snaps out of whatever the fuck Even is doing to him. “The ones Mutta sent you?”

“Yeah, but you, uh, caught my eye in those ones? So, I went looking for more videos. I found some of your old solos and duets with Eva.”

“Oh,” Isak says, trying to ignore the thrill in his stomach. While he was stalking Even, Even was stalking him. A modern day romance. “What did you think?”

“I thought you were fucking incredible,” Even says, and Isak blushes. “And I thought you were a better dancer than you were in this room.”

Isak’s instinct is to get defensive, but he doesn’t have legs to stand on in this argument. “Yeah. I know. I can’t connect the way you do.”

“You do, though. I saw it in your videos. You know how to do this.”

“Well. Not anymore.”

Even hums. “Do you know that I haven’t really danced in months?”

Isak’s surprised by that. Though Even’s Instagram hasn’t been active, Isak assumed he still was. “Really?”

“Yeah. Things went to shit in L.A., and I just kind of lost inspiration for a bit. I’m finding it again, but my dancing’s really suffered from the time off. I just need to practice, and I don’t like dancing alone.”

Isak doesn’t want to assume, so he asks, “What are you saying?”

“We could have some extra rehearsals together. Private ones. It’ll give me the practice I need, and maybe I can help you connect with your dancing again.”

Isak’s dream didn’t even dare to imagine this.

Because yes, he _wants_ to, anything involving _Even_ and _private_ and _dance_ is bound to be good, but he’s scared of it too. If they do this and Isak still doesn’t get his inspiration back, what hope is there for him?

But, it kind of feels like his last shot. He has to take it.

“Ok,” Isak says. “Let’s do it.”  


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been a slow writing week for me, but I'm sure you've all been busy reading the incredible Big Bang fics. And now I'm back with a private rehearsal. :)
> 
> Also, I made a [playlist!](https://open.spotify.com/user/axrwlrtsndg5ap7koomfrwj4x/playlist/2Zm1YPltK5IlTcHmxCuBpo?si=l6J2sD0XTw-Urz02X1QtkA) It's full of overused dance competition songs because those are my jams. I'll probably keep adding to it as the fic goes on. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy! :)

Isak knows how to study.

It’s made him both a good student and a good dancer. He has the knowledge to complete his exams and the technique to execute choreography, so he always succeeds in the way grades and competition scores can measure.

He’s beginning to understand that’s not always enough. His advisor is on him to develop a research question for his thesis, and Eva needs to him to dance like he actually means his movement. In both cases, he needs to find some fucking passion again.

Even seems to have it in spades.

If Isak wants to access it, he needs to enter their first rehearsal prepared. He needs to understand who Even is and where he comes from, and maybe then he won’t be so intimidated. Luckily, he has a primary source sitting beside him.

“What do you know about Even Bech Næsheim?”

Sana glances away from her laptop to glare at Isak. They’re in a classroom waiting for their Molecular Biology lecture to begin. “I know he’d ask me how my weekend was before he interrogated me. It’s only polite.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “How was your weekend, Sana?”

“Fine, thank you.”

“Fantastic. I’m thrilled to hear it.” Isak gives her the brightest smile he’s capable of when he’s only a third of the way through his coffee. “Now, what do you know about Even? He’s friends with your brother? And Yousef?”

“Mhm. And he recently moved home from L.A, but you know that.”

“I do.”

“What else have you learned, Isak?”

Well. A foray into the YouTube comments on Even’s videos has taught him a lot of hearsay. Isak memorized the words like he should have memorized his textbook.

_is even still with sonja??? they’re so cute <3_

_no i think he’s gay_

_uh it’s literally all over his insta that he’s pan_

_i don’t think so they’re never in vids together anymore_

_wasn’t he with clay for awhile?_

_pretty sure he cheated on sonja with him_

_yikes :/ :/ :/_

_lol he didn’t. they broke up because he’s crazy. my sister was in a video with them._

_yeah this sounds reliable_

_why do people care so much about his personal life omg_

Isak felt called out by the last comment, so he stopped reading.

“Nothing, really,” Isak lies. “Do you know why he moved back?”

“No.”

“Didn’t he have a girlfriend? Is she still in L.A.?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ok, what’s he like? When he’s just hanging out?”

“If you want to know who Even is, you can talk to him.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “I’m just nervous. We’re supposed to rehearse together, but I don’t know how the fuck to dance like him. With all that feeling.”

“Or,” Sana says, eyebrows raised. “Maybe you’re scared to.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Isak says. “Because I’m trying to, you know? My life fucking sucked when I didn’t feel anything.” Sana hums, and Isak knows she understands. With Yousef’s help, she’s only recently started to let herself feel emotions more vulnerable than anger. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just uninspired.”

Isak’s used to Sana’s glare, smirk, and raised eyebrows, but it still hits him when her eyes soften and she purses her lips, like she’s examining how his cells are strung together, considering the implications of his specific structure.

“I think you’re going to like Even.”

After the lecture, Sana hangs back to argue with their professor over her grade on their last midterm. Isak finds Yousef waiting outside the classroom, holding a coffee Isak knows isn’t for himself.

“Hey,” Isak says. “Sana’s just talking to the prof.”

“So I’ll be here awhile,” Yousef says, and Isak laughs. “That’s ok. I don’t mind.”

Isak likes Yousef. He’s not tiring to talk to like Mutta or Vilde can be, and they’ve found themselves in thoughtful, compassionate conversations about the different religions they left behind. Plus, he makes Sana smile, and Isak appreciates anyone who can do that.

It makes Isak anxious that there’s tension between him and Even. Yousef doesn’t have tension with anyone.

“Where are you off to?” Yousef asks, and Isak has to be honest.

“I’m going to rehearse with Even.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“Yeah. You excited he’s back?”

“Yeah, I was hoping we could reconnect, but—” Yousef runs a hand through his hair as his gaze falls to the floor. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to make rehearsals weird.”

“It’s chill, but you might want to tell us what happened before Vilde decides what happened.”

“Maybe.”

“And look, whatever I’m doing with Even, we were friends first. I’ve got your back.”

“No, I—Even didn’t do anything wrong.”

With impeccable timing, Sana walks into the hallway, fist clenched around her midterm. “Went well?” Isak asks.

“When you spend your entire career in academia, you have to be strict about pointless things to make yourself feel relevant,” Sana says. Yousef hands her the coffee, and her expression lifts into a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I’ll leave you to not go on a date,” Isak says. “Be sure to gaze into each other’s eyes. That’s what the best of friends do.”

“I can manage that,” Yousef says. Sana turns her face away, embarrassed, but her smile only grows.

Yousef’s told Isak that every time he’s with Sana, he wants to dance: that she frees him to move in the way that feels most honest to him. Isak’s noticed a similar truth in Eva’s choreography since she’s been with Jonas.

Love’s a source of inspiration. It’s not a revolutionary idea, but in this moment, it kind of is to Isak.

He wonders if Even will agree.

\---

“Of course, Isak. Everything’s about love.”

If you’re going to dance with someone, there’s no reason to withhold anything from them. If you do it right, the truth will come out in the movement anyway.

So, Isak bumbles through his revelation that inspiration is born of love, rambling the way he does when he confesses something new to someone new. He leaves some sentences unfinished, misplaces words, and feels more ridiculous the longer he speaks, but Even listens with a smile and open, kind eyes. He actually reminds Isak of Jonas.

They haven’t danced yet, but they’ve talked, sitting across from each other in the middle of the studio. They started with the weather (warm for February), moved on to their mornings (class for Isak, work for Even), and discussed Eva’s suggestion that they should try the _Dirty Dancing_ lift today (maybe they’ll build to that).

Eventually, Even asked, “Do you know why your dancing’s different now? What changed?”

Isak shook his head, then launched into what he’d mused over instead of paying attention in class. And, Even’s agreed. Isak’s relieved: you need to be on the same page as your partner.

“You know,” Even says. “My favourite performance of yours was the _Change is Everything_ duet with Eva.”

“Really?” They performed that in high school, and it was as Melodramatic Contemporary Dance as you can get. Lots of writhing, lots of shaking, but also a complicated turn sequence so they’d still place when they competed with it. It’s not Eva’s style anymore, and it’s certainly not his.

Even nods. “Because you danced it with boldness, commitment, sincerity—”

“Passion?”

“Exactly. It looked like you were falling in love.”

“Well, I was.”

“With Eva?”

It’s not the first time someone’s made that assumption, but Isak doesn’t want any misunderstanding between him and Even on this subject. “No, Julian. My first boyfriend. Only boyfriend. I’d just come out too, so it was kind of like—my life was starting over? Except this time, I was going to live it as myself.”

God, he sounds like the protagonist in a coming-of-age teen movie. At least it makes Even smile.

“No wonder you danced like that.”

“Yeah, but—I can’t have a pivotal life event every time I need to perform, you know?”

“No, but you can still channel those feelings. You remember them, right?”

Isak does, but. “It’s kind of shitty to feel them without actually falling in love again. Then, I just feel grief.”

“I get that. Trust me, I get that, but the potential to fall in love is always there. Maybe you can dance with the hope of that--or if you can’t do that, you can use the grief.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“What?”

“Like, I just make the decision to feel those things, and then they’ll be in my dancing. Like I’m pushing a button to transform myself from a robot into a human.”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m always feeling something. Dance is the safest place for all of it.”

And Isak realizes this has been all about him, which is not their deal. If he’s going to help Even, he needs to do some investigative work.

If they’re going to help each other, they need to form a connection.

“Why’d you leave L.A.?” Isak asks.

Even hesitates, then raises his eyebrows. “Ok. Do you really want to know the truth?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I did a show with Mia Michaels.”

“Wait, seriously?”

Even nods. “Biggest break of my career, right? It was all going well, until one night, I decided to add some nuance to the choreography. My own flair. All I did was tilt my head, but she lost her shit, and basically blacklisted me from the industry. I couldn’t book anything after that. I couldn’t even take class." 

Isak has no fucking clue how to respond to that—until he catches Even’s smirk. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Maybe a little.”

“Fucking hell.” Isak rolls his eyes, and Even laughs. He’s comfortable enough with Even, but now he also feels relaxed. “What actually happened?”

“Oh, there was no one thing,” Even says. “I wish there was because that would make for a better story. I just don’t like dancing alone, and I kept finding myself alone.”

Isak frowns. “You had a girlfriend, though?”

“Sonja?” Isak nods. “We tried so hard to make it work that I think we forgot that we still had to love each other.”

“What about the guy? Clay?”

“ _Wow_ , you really stalked me.”

Isak blushes. “You just posted everything on Instagram. I only wanted to see your dance videos, but you insisted on subjecting your followers to your personal life too.”

“I don’t do that anymore.”

“I’ve noticed.”

Even raises his eyebrows, but relents. “Clay was a fucking mess. I’m bipolar, and he thought that was fine with him, but it wasn’t.” Even shrugs. “And he talked about it, a lot, so people stopped wanting to work with me.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go back one day, when they’ve moved onto someone else to talk about. That’s the only reason I could come back here." 

Isak’s feeling something now.

It’s not pity, and he’s not even sure it’s empathy: just a connection in their loneliness, a care, a hope that Even’s ok. It kind of surprises him, both its suddenness and strength.

He’s curious if he’s alone in it.

“If you’re always feeling something,” Isak says. “What kind of things do you feel?”

Isak watches Even’s eyes drift to the floor, closing himself off. Maybe he pushed too far. “It’s probably easier if I show you.”

Even stands up, and Isak follows suit. They don’t actually have a plan: they have very little choreography together in Eva’s piece, and they can’t just run that over and over again.

Before Isak can ask what they’re going to do, Even says, “Do you want to improv?”

Isak keeps his _fuck no_ on his tongue. He used to love it, especially with Eva, but when you don’t feel anything when you dance, you're really just flailing around.

“I like to put my playlist on shuffle,” Even continues, not waiting for a response. “And challenge myself to dance to whatever song comes on. Shall we try?”

Before Isak can answer, he hears a tin whistle, and is immediately brought back to the last movie night at Vilde’s he reluctantly attended.

“What the fuck? Is this from _Titanic?_ ”

Even gapes at him. “ _Is this from Titanic?_ How do you not know _My Heart Will Go On_?”

“Why the fuck is that on your playlist?”

“It’s a beautiful love song!”

“It’s fucking depressing! And cheesy as hell.”

As the lyrics come on, Even steps close enough to Isak to take his hand, lift him into his arms. If he were so inclined. “It’s perfect. Embrace the melodrama, Isak. Feel the love you felt for ex, feel the grief you feel now, make me whoever you need me to be.”

“You can’t even dance to it unless you want to do boring, lyrical shit. There are no dynamics.”

“Oh, you know we’re building to sweeping musical moment designed to break your heart, but fine. Just use the beginning to get into character.”

“I don’t even know how to do that." 

“I’ll make it easy for you. I’m Jack, and you’re Rose. You have say goodbye to me after a whirlwind romance, knowing I’ll _perish_ , in order to save yourself.”

“There was room for both of them on that raft.”

“That was an original take ten years ago, but that was never the point. The point is the heartbreak. Here.” Even reaches for Isak’s hand, then brings it to his own cheek. It’s so warm that Isak’s tempted to just rest his hand there for the duration of the song. “Let’s start at the beginning. Show me how you touch someone you love.”

“I don’t usually _think_ about it.”

“Isak. Just dance.”

Isak presses his fingers into Even’s cheek, hesitant until Even nuzzles his head into Isak’s palm in response. Even turns himself around, lowers himself until he’s out of Isak’s touch.

And yeah, ok. He feels the loss.

As Even moves through his own space, Isak becomes desperate to be part of it. He runs after him, taking Even’s arm and turning his body into his own. Even rests there for a beat, locks eyes with Isak, then lifts Isak’s hand off of his arm, stepping back into his own space.

Isak doesn’t have to imagine Even as Julian or Jack to feel the piece. If anything, it hinders it. The thought of losing Even now, of losing what might be another chance at love, fucking breaks his heart.

As the music builds, Even says, “Try a lift. I’ll catch you.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, and this is where you say ‘You jump, I jump.’”

“Ok, but don’t literally jump. Just catch me.”

“You’re ruining the moment." 

When they reach the song’s climax, Isak gets reckless. He dives onto Even’s back, circling his arms around Even’s chest and legs around Even’s waist. Even stands up slowly, but instead of supporting Isak’s weight, he gently shrugs him off.

Isak’s breathless when the music ends. He’s exhausted, he’s free, and he’s relieved.

He felt it.

Judging by Even’s expression, he did as well.

“Did you feel like you were flying?” Even asks.

Isak nods. “How did you feel?”

“Like the king of the world.”

“Can we do it again?”

Even leaves his shuffle on to determine their next dance.

 

 


	4. Four

In the next month, Isak and Even can’t spend enough time with each other.

They mostly dance, discovering more about each other through the shuffle game than they ever could through conversation. For example, Isak learns that Even has an unsurprising love for Gabrielle, that he listens to movie scores and pretends he’s starring in one as he goes about daily tasks, and that despite a passion for hip-hop music, he does not have the swag to dance the style with any sort of conviction.

He also learns that Even prefers improv to choreography, spontaneity to any sort of a plan. He learns that Even prioritizes passion over technique, what he’s actually feeling to what he’s supposed to feel. He learns that Even’s more willing to try risky lifts than solo tricks, choosing to partner rather than to rely on himself. 

He learns that when he touches Even, Even will always respond. When they dance together, they’re right there for each other.

But they’re with each other in other spaces as well, in all the spaces the two of them used to inhabit alone. When they can’t get studio space, they dance at Even’s apartment—which, he told Isak, he specifically chose for its high ceilings and large living room. And when they tire of that, they end up on Even’s couch with beers in their hands, watching dance movies with experimentally-flavoured popcorn between them (caramel and cardamom is their most successful creation to date).

Isak frequents the café Even works at, partially to score free coffee, but mostly to spend fifteen minutes talking to him on his break. Even occasionally meets Isak after class to take him to lunch.

If they’re not together, they’re texting each other: music recommendations, links to dance videos, and dance memes they actively Google rather than stumbling upon.

Isak’s crush is bigger than anything he’s ever called a crush before. He suspects Even feels the same way, but he doesn’t want to make a move until they’ve finished their festival submission in case things get awkward.

They’re filming today. Isak is really fucking excited.

He gets to the studio twenty minutes early, and as planned, so does Even. “Hey,” he greets, and Isak does a double-take. Even always looks good, but he usually comes to rehearsal a little disheveled, ready to sweat. Today, with perfectly styled hair and a perfectly tight shirt, he looks camera-ready. Isak was nervous when Eva chose Vilde to be in charge of costuming, but now he silently thanks her.

Even raises his eyebrows. “You’re staring.”

“You look like a fucking movie star.”

Even takes more than a moment to eye Isak up-and-down, biting his bottom lip. “As do you, Isak.”

Isak does not shove Even against a mirror to make-out with him. He congratulates himself for his inspiring level of self-control.

Then again, it’s going to be a long shoot. Maybe he should hold his applause.

“It’s your turn to shuffle,” Even says. “I don’t know if we’ll ever find another gem like ‘Ice Ice Baby’ on your playlist—”

“I told you it was on there as a joke.”

“For who, Isak? For who?”

Isak rolls his eyes and sets his phone to shuffle, blushing when he realizes what song it is. It hits Even only a moment later, and he smirks. “Ed Sheeran?”

“Shut up.”

“No, I will not. You teased me for One Direction, I am absolutely going to tease you for Ed Sheeran.” He swipes Isak’s phone and holds it over his head. “Especially because you have—holy shit, Isak. _His entire discography_.”

“It’s just easier to add an entire album on Spotify than individual songs.”

“Of course, of course.” Even puts his phone down, still grinning. “Oh, Isak. Who knew you were so sensitive? So sweet? So—”

Isak cuts him off by reaching out to pull Even right into his chest, smiling at the way Even’s breath hitches.

“Just dance with me.”  

Even doesn’t need to be asked twice.

The song is _Give Me Love_ , and it’s a good one for both of their styles. There are dynamics to play with, a story to connect to, and lyrics like _I just want to hold you_ to interpret literally.

They’re interrupted by Eva entering the studio. Even pulls away, even though Isak would’ve been quite happy to keep going. Eva rolls her eyes, and Isak knows she’s in no mood to be charmed by them.

“Pretty sure my note wasn’t to work on your chemistry with each other,” she says, taking it upon herself to turn the music off. “Even—”

“Feet,” he says. “I know. I’ll point my toes.”

“It’s just, it’s so rudimentary that it shouldn’t even be an issue.”

“Relax. I’ve got it.:

“And Isak,” she says, right when he believed he might have escaped the line of fire. “We are partners in this one. You need to be focused on me and not on eye-fucking Even. Clear?”

“Clear,” Isak says. Even grins at him.  

“I’m so fucking stressed,” Eva says, somewhat redundantly. “We only have an hour to shoot, and like, this is it. It has to be perfect. What if it doesn’t look right on film, or what if the make-up’s too much, or what if—”

“Hey,” Isak says. “Take a beat.”

Eva frowns, but listens.

“Our last rehearsal was incredible. We’ve never danced that well,” Isak says, and it’s true. Even’s brought a new energy out in everyone. “And even if we’re not that good today, your choreography will still carry us.”

“But there are so many good choreographers applying to this festival. Did you see what Ingrid posted on Instagram today?”

Isak rolls his eyes. Growing up, Eva and Ingrid always placed in first and second at competitions, and they’re still competing now. “The video where everyone looked constipated?”

“It was moving!”

“No, fuck that. It was just like her: pretty to look at, but there’s nothing below the surface.”

Eva smiles, though Isak can tell she doesn’t want to. “You can be such a dick.”

“I promise the judges will see through her fake artistic bullshit. There’s nothing to see through in our piece because we’re putting everything out there as honestly as we can. That’s what makes us good.”

Eva furrows his eyebrows. “Please keep spending time with him,” she says, nodding towards Even. “He makes you sappy and inspirational. I like it.”

Isak does too, and he only plans to spend more and more time with Even.

As the rest of the dancers file in, it quickly becomes chaotic. Vilde’s adjusting everyone’s hair and make-up, Mahdi’s asking for notes on steps he learned months ago, and Noora’s safety pinning everyone’s costumes into submission. They also have an audience: Sana and Jonas came to support Yousef and Eva (and, Isak realizes, maybe him as well), and Mikael took his role as videographer to mean that he could bring a whole camera crew with him in Elias and Adam.

“Ok!” Eva yells when they’re down to forty minutes. “If you’re not dancing, stand behind the camera and shut the fuck up. Mikael, remember that you have to shoot this as it would appear on stage. That means no fancy shots, but still make us look good. Everyone, remember to play to the camera like it’s also your partner in this. Trust each other, trust yourself, and I love you all despite how much I’m going to yell at you today. Let’s do this.”

Everyone takes position. Before Jonas starts the music, Isak whispers to Eva, “Thanks.”

“For what?” she asks.

“This is the best thing in all of our lives.”

Eva’s mouth falls open, and Isak winks at her. He knows he’s given her the exact feeling she needs to dance her very best.

Because he finally has it too, the pure fucking love of what he’s doing and for the people around him that allows him to feel every moment of the dance. It’s not only his relationship with Eva, the way they support each other while really fucking pushing each other, but also how Mutta makes him laugh, and how Noora gives good advice, and even how Vilde makes him have fun when he forgets he wants to.

And then there’s Even, and Isak can’t sum up why he loves Even because it’s everything. He just fucking loves everything about him and the relationship they’re building together.

Eva gave them a small section of choreography together, arguing that with their chemistry, less is more. “You’d overshadow the entire piece,” she told Isak privately. “But one day, I will choreograph a very dramatic, very romantic dance for the two of you because that is guaranteed to go viral.”

In this piece, it’s just a moment. Before Even is brought into the group at the end, Isak tries to guide him to it. They barely touch, simply brushing fingertips as Isak leans towards the group, like he’s pulling Even towards it. Even’s response is to turn away, but he eventually turns his head towards Isak again, like he’s longing for what Isak offered.

It’s just their fingertips, but it’s fucking electric, and it’s where Isak gets his adrenaline from for the rest of the piece.

Isak thinks the first take feels as good as the piece has ever felt, but after reviewing Mikael’s footage, Eva has notes for all of them. They end up doing more takes than Isak can count, but when Eva eventually smiles and announces, “That one was perfect,” everyone forgets how tired and sore they were in the buzz of celebration.

Isak’s just really fucking happy, and he decides this should be the night he kisses Even. The energy, drama, and romance of everything certainly create the mood for a first kiss.

Plus, he’s waited an entire _month_ to do it. Isak is amazed by his own strength.

He’s going to invite Even over when Eva approaches him. “Hey,” she says, slinging her arm around Isak’s shoulder. “Celebrate with us tonight.” She nods towards Jonas, who hasn’t stopped smiling at her since he arrived.

“That’s ok,” Isak says. “It’s your night. You guys should do your own thing.”

“Oh, fuck that. It’s _our_ night, Isak. I could not have done any of this without you.” Isak doesn’t quite believe that, but he doesn’t want Eva to get even sappier if he argues. They’ve both been as dramatic as Even today. “If anyone’s third wheeling, it’s Jonas.”

And as nice as it would be to kiss Even tonight, Isak knows he has to spend it with Eva. They’ve fucking earned this celebration together.

“Yeah, ok.”

When Isak goes to say goodbye to Even, he’s messing with something on Mikael’s camera. “Hey,” he says, eyes brightening upon seeing Isak. “How pissed do you think Eva would be if we added some slo-mo to this?”

“I’m not going to answer that so I don’t have to testify at your murder trial.”

“Hm, I knew you were smart.” Even’s been smiling all day, but he still makes a point to smile at Isak. “Hey, I wanted to ask you—we’ll continue with our rehearsals, right? Even though the video is finished?”

“Yeah,” Isak says, not admitting that he’d never considered the alternative. Why would he stop doing what he looks forward to most? “I mean, the video’s over, but we’re not.”

“No,” Even says, raising his eyebrows. “I guess we’re not.”

\---

The next week is the busiest one Isak’s had at school all semester. Between that and Even’s work schedule, they aren’t able to get together until a full week after the video shoot, and Isak does not believe he’s being dramatic when he complains to Eva that it’s the longest week of his life.

But when they finally find a few hours together on a Friday night, the entire day leading up to it feels perfect. The sun is out, the birds are chirping, and Isak is going to kiss a beautiful boy tonight.

Isak gets to the studio early again, more than a little eager, but he’s encouraged when Even’s early too.

“You left me on read,” Even says as a greeting, and Isak likes that they’re comfortable enough to skip formalities now.

“Because you sent me a dance to a fucking _Macklemore_ song.”

“I thought maybe you didn’t reply because it made you cry.”

Isak rolls his eyes, despite the fact that while the video didn’t make him cry, it did kind of move him. Though Isak knows more gay people in the dance community than anywhere else, it’s still rare to see guys dancing together in a popular video like that. He hopes that he and Even can help change that trend.

“We’re better than those dancers,” Isak says, and Even raises his eyebrows. “We are. I don’t think anyone else dances the way we do together.”

“No,” Even says. “I don’t think so either.”

It’s Even’s turn to shuffle, and Isak doesn’t recognize the song that comes on. Even gasps like he always does when Isak doesn’t know what he considers to be a classic—which, conveniently, is every song on Even’s playlist.

“ _Ready for Love_?” Even asks. “A man who loves music, a man who loves art? It sounds like falling in love, Isak.”

Well. Isak can get on board with that.

It’s a slower song, but Isak feels the depth in it, the total vulnerability. It’s the kind of song that makes him want to dance completely _with_ Even, never breaking contact. Even seems to feel that way too, because if their hands aren’t touching, their chests are, their feet are, their foreheads are. And their hearts, they’re dancing right along with them.

As they dance to the lyrics Even referred to— _a man who loves music, a man who loves art_ —Isak knows he could love Even as much they both love dance. More, actually—whatever he has with Even just feels like _more_. He’s so fucking certain of it.

It’s why he doesn’t feel that brave when, towards the end of the song, he takes Even’s face in his hands. It’s not scary. It’s the next natural step. 

He leans in to kiss Even, and Even turns his head away.

It takes Isak a beat to realize the music stopped.

Hands still outstretched like he's reaching for something, Isak catches how fucking stupid he looks in the mirror and tucks his hands into his pockets. Even looks at him but keeps his eyes down, like he'd rather talk to the ground he danced on than the boy he danced with.

"Isak." Even's voice is strained, and God, it's taking everything in Isak not to fucking run right now. "I think I may have given you the wrong idea."

But that’s the problem. It wasn’t just one idea. Isak had let himself imagine it all.

When Even was having a shit day, Isak could just touch his knee, kiss his cheek, make vague promises about how he’d make the world a better place for Even. And Isak believed that, that loving Even could turn him into a superhero, someone braver and more loving than he’d ever been.

When they talked about their lives, Isak could push a little more, ask the deeper questions and help Even through his answers. Even would be there for him too, always as ready to listen as he is ready to love.

When they kissed, they could be playful, sweet, and mischievous, always concerned with making each other feel _good_.

When they danced together, well, it would be fucking transcendent.

And now Isak’s losing it all. And he knows, he knows he didn’t actually _have_ it, but it really fucking felt like he did.

“I’m sorry if I led you on.”

“ _If_?” It comes out as anger. It’s the first time Isak’s let something ugly sit in between them.

“It’s not—it’s not that I don’t like you, Isak. But if you’re interested in a relationship, I just can’t be in one right now. I’m so sorry.”

What can Isak say to that? If Even doesn’t want to be in a relationship, that’s fine, but he shouldn’t have made Isak believe in all of this. Isak’s waiting for Even to acknowledge that again, the weight of how fucking hurt he is right now, but he lets Isak sink in the silence instead.

“Can you just leave?” Isak says.

Even looks taken aback, and Isak almost feels smug. _Yes_ , he wants to say. _Doesn’t that fucking hurt?_

“We can still be friends, right? I want to keep hanging out with you. I want to keep dancing with you.”

“I don’t know. We definitely can't do it tonight." 

Even nods, and even though he asked him to, Isak’s still surprised when he actually leaves.

Fuck, did Isak really ask for this back? Feeling all of this shit? He doesn’t know what to do with it, if he should focus on the sadness or the anger, how the fuck does he grieve this? And he’s anxious too, worried about Even, almost guilty himself—he can’t process any of it. He’d dance, but Even made him hate dancing alone too.

His phone rings, and it gives Isak a moment to breathe. There’s only one person he’d pick up for right now, and she’s the one calling. Eva always did have a sixth sense for when he just needed to talk to someone. 

“Eva,” he says. “Hey. Can you—”

“Isak?”

Her voice sounds worse than his own. Isak’s heart drops: it’ll be a miracle if it survives this night. He swallows the lump in his own throat because it’s not important right now.

“What’s up?”

“I heard from the festival. We didn’t get in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this fic, a number of people said they were preparing themselves for pain. So, uh, here you go. Very sorry.
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). You are welcome to yell at me.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know people were hoping for a happier chapter, and uh...this might not be it lol. It's always a happy ending with me, but we've got to earn it first. And on that uplifting note, enjoy? :) ❤️

When Isak wakes up on Eva’s couch, it takes him a minute to remember that his heart is broken. But when he does, combined with his headache, nausea, and body’s general _fuck you_ , he discovers a brand new way to hurt.

He really thought he already knew them all.

“Rise and shine, you lightweight.” Isak groans and tosses a pillow towards Eva’s voice, not bothering to open his eyes. Within seconds, she’s smacking his shoulder with it. “God. You can’t hold your alcohol at all.”

Isak opens his eyes. Everything’s too fucking bright, and Eva’s holding a green smoothie that makes his stomach churn just on sight. “I didn’t even drink that much, fuck.”

“Isak. You insisted we watch _Titanic_ and started crying at the opening credits.”

Well. At least he lost his dignity along with his hope.

“Hey, make room,” Eva says, pushing Isak’s legs over herself to sit beside him. She hands him the smoothie, and Isak scrunches his face at it before setting it down on the end table. “Come on, you know it’ll help. I’m an expert in hangover cures. In fact, I’m considering a new career.”

And Isak remembers that he doesn’t have the only broken heart in the room. “Eva.”

“Yes, Isak. You finally learned my name?”

“It’s one rejection.”

“No, it’s another rejection. It’s just the worst one.” Eva pulls her phone out of her hoodie’s pocket and begins to read. “Listen to this bullshit: _Modern Movement is about showcasing young choreographers who are bringing something new to Norway’s dance scene. Unfortunately, we do not feel your piece qualifies this year. We hope you’ll apply again next year._ So first of all, bringing something _new_ to Norway’s dance scene? Don’t we have to create the scene first?  And ok, how many years do I get to apply before I’m no longer a young choreographer? When will my new ideas be considered cliché?”

“It’s a form rejection. Don’t put more thought into it than they did.”

“Oh, and you’ll love this.” Eva hands over her phone, opened to a text from Ingrid: _Hi! I know we haven’t talked in awhile, but I saw on your insta you were applying to Modern Movement too. I just heard that I got in!!! Have you heard anything yet?_

Isak rolls his eyes as he gives Eva her phone back. “You know she’s just trying to get under your skin.”

“I told you her piece was better than mine.”

“If the judges think she’s ‘bringing something new to the dance scene’ by dressing girls up in dark costumes and having them writhe around on the floor to a Roisin Murphy song, they need to catch up on So You Think You Can Dance.”

“Well, they still liked it more than what we did.” Eva tosses her phone between her hands, then looks at Isak the same way she did when she got cut from her first audition. “You watched the finished video when I sent it to you, right? And it was good?”

“Yeah, of course. It was amazing.”

“See, that’s the problem.” Eva sighs, running a hand through her loose hair. “I think so too. That’s my best work, and it wasn’t good enough.”

“Eva. For _one_ festival.”

“There aren’t many others out here. And I’m starting to feel kind of childish, you know? Like I’m holding onto a dream of growing up and becoming a princess. Most dance careers end in high school. I don’t know why the fuck I thought I would be different.”

“Because you are different. You’re better than most dancers. You’re driven enough that you started your own company.”

“That’s failing.” Isak opens his mouth to argue, but Eva continues before he gets the chance. “Fuck, and now I have to tell everyone that we didn’t get in. I have to tell Jonas.”

“You haven’t told Jonas?” Though Isak spent the entire night with Eva, he assumed she’d talked to him first. Eva shakes her head. “Eva, he’ll want to know.”

“I know, but—he’s not going to get it. He’s like, the star of the journalism department. He’s had articles published, there are already editors who want to hire him when he graduates….”

“So?”

“So, he doesn’t fail the way I do.”

Eva’s voice cracks, and Isak’s heart cracks along with it. “You’re not a failure.”

“Really?” Despite the crack, Eva’s voice gets louder and faster. “I’m not getting anywhere with this. Festivals don’t want me. My videos get like, negative views—and fuck, I don’t know why I thought Even joining would help with that. When people do watch them, they just comment about how hot he is and how much they ship you two together.”

Isak looks away because he doesn’t want to give himself away. This can’t be about him.

“No one cares about my dancing or choreography because it’s not good enough,” Eva continues. “So you know what, fuck it. I’m done.”

“Done?” Isak repeats, furrowing his eyebrows. “Eva—”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do because I’m sure as hell not going back to school, but I can’t keep doing this. Maybe my aunt will let me pick up some more classes, but I don’t want to choreograph competition dances and teach three-year-old’s left from right my entire life.

“It doesn’t have to be your entire life, though. It can be a few months, or maybe years, but then you’ll get another opportunity—”

“It doesn’t matter how many chances I get, Isak. It never works out.”

Isak frowns and considers a different approach. “Ok, so you’re just giving up? When other dance companies wouldn’t accept you, you started your own. That’s not like you."

“What the fuck does that even mean? Maybe it is like me, I don’t know! And it’s not helping to have you telling me I can do something that I know I can’t.”

Eva wipes her eyes with her sleeve, and Isak could cry himself. 

“Hey, maybe take—"

“A beat, I know. I’m sorry. I’m just so fucking frustrated.”

“I get it.” Isak wraps his arm around her shoulder and squeezes it. “Be fucking sad and pissed about this as long as you need to be, but maybe don’t make any decisions yet. And talk to Jonas. Don’t worry about telling anyone else, I’ve got it.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t.”

Eva smiles. “Thank you, seriously, but it should come from me. Maybe you could tell Even, though?”

Isak wishes he could just nod, say _yes_ like it’s no problem, but he knows his face gives him away when Eva furrows her eyebrows at him.

“Oh my God,” she says, her mouth falling open. “Isak, I _suck._ You were sad too, and I didn’t even ask why—”

“It’s fine.”

“What happened? Are things ok with Even?”

“It’s not important.”

“Oh, fuck that. Talk to me, please. I could use another crisis to distract me.”

Because it’s Eva and only because it’s Eva, Isak tells her every detail. “I’ve never felt like that,” Isak says once he finishes the story. “I’ve never been so fucking sure that something would work out, and it didn’t.”

“Fucking hell,” Eva says. “There’s something else going on there. He was obviously into you.”

“Even if there is, it doesn’t really matter? It’s not going to happen either way, so.”

“So you’re just going to give up?” Eva says, imitating him. Isak rolls his eyes. “That’s not like you, Isak! Well—ok, it kind of is, but Even seems like he’s worth trying again for.”

“If he doesn’t want a relationship, there’s nothing I can do about that,” Isak says.

“Are you sure it’s that he doesn’t _want_ one? Maybe he’s just scared of it.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“And even if it can’t be a romance, Isak, you guys are such good friends that I started to get jealous. You don’t want to lose that, or what he brings out in you.”

Isak furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Passion,” Eva says, smiling as though it’s obvious. “The feeling you’ve been looking for since Julian, and the thing with your dad—”

“My dad?” Isak repeats. He hasn’t talked to him in at least a year.

“Yeah? Look, you had this high school experience meant for a movie, with coming out, Julian, your dad coming back--I watched you open yourself up in a way you haven’t since we were kids. You were just totally yourself.”

“Yeah. I remember.”

“But you and Julian broke up, and your dad left again, and it was like you lost your motivation to feel anything? And I knew you missed it, but you couldn’t find it again until….”

“Until Even.”

“Yeah. I’m not saying you have to be with him because you can learn how to feel for yourself, but he helped you. I don’t want you to lose everything you had with him.”

Isak doesn’t want to lose it either.

“We have some studio time booked this afternoon,” Isak says. “I assumed we’d both blow it off but—”

“Text him.”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think I won’t take your phone? Even at the risk of finding more of your porn?”

“I was _sixteen_ —”

Eva shoves his shoulder, and Isak laughs. Maybe they’ll both come out of this ok. He texts Even: _Hey. Can we talk at the studio this afternoon?_

Even replies within a minute: _Yes, I’ll be there. I’m sorry. I feel like an asshole._

Isak just sends _Ok_ in return.

“Done,” he says. “And while I’m there, you’ll talk to Jonas. Get all the confidence back you deserve to have.”

Eva smiles at that as Isak finally takes a sip of his smoothie, which he fights to swallow. “That’s fucking disgusting,” he says. “You have to keep dancing. That can’t be your career.”

“Ok. I’m not giving up yet.”

\---

Even’s already dancing when Isak gets to the studio.

He hangs back and watches because it’s impossible not to. Isak recognizes the song from his competition days: _Skin & Bones _by David J. Roch, which he thought was overused and melodramatic even at his most melodramatic.

It’s different when Even dances to it.

There’s desperation in his body, just like he once instructed Isak to have. Isak really sees it now, the way Even completely trusts and depends on it. When he leaps, he soars. When he falls, he crashes. In the music’s most dramatic moments, he slinks across the floor like he’s boneless, like he doesn’t have control, like he belongs on the ground.

 _So don’t try to save me_  
_And please God forsake me_  
_I’ll suffer alone_  
_I just want to be left_

They’re lyrics Isak used to roll his eyes at, but as he watches Even dance like he believes them, he hurts for him.

He cares about Even. Of course he does. Why else would he show up to potentially get his heart broken all over again?

Even doesn’t notice Isak even when the music stops, taking a moment to close his eyes and regain his breath.

“Thought you didn’t like dancing alone.”

Even startles, catching Isak’s gaze in the mirror. Isak offers a small wave as Even turns around to face him.

“I don’t,” Even says. “But I think have to.”

Isak shakes his head because _no_ , that just doesn’t make sense given the month they’ve spent together. “Did you not like dancing with me?”

“Is that what it felt like?”

“No?”

Even shrugs as though to say: _there’s your answer_.

“Then Even,” Isak says. “I don’t get what’s happened here. You don’t like me, that’s fine—”

“I do like you, Isak.”

“Ok, then you owe me a fucking explanation.”

Even winces, and though Isak doesn’t want to hurt him, he’s still a little too angry to apologize.

“No, you’re right. It wasn’t fair of me to bring you into my mess.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just—everything. Who I am.” Even gestures to the space around him. “I mean, you just saw it. I’m always feeling too much.”

“Yeah?” Isak shrugs because he still doesn’t fucking get it. “You’ve told me that before. What’s your point?”

Even smiles, a little too fond not to get Isak’s hopes up again. “This is so fucking hard because you’re someone who remembers what people tell them. That’s rare. _You’re_ rare, Isak.”

“You can’t say shit like that if we’re not going to be anything.”

“Maybe I’m trying to make you understand that you’re special enough to deserve something with someone else. Because trust me, Isak. You don’t actually want anything with me.”

“No, that’s bullshit. I’ve spent an entire month with you. I know that I like you, even if you’re confusing as fuck right now. Let me make that choice.”

“You haven’t seen me through an episode yet.”

“No, but you’re still going to be you, and I will still like you. We can figure it out.”

“Kind of a naïve approach.”

“Then let me be naïve, Even. We should at least try this because I think it could be good.” Even sighs, running a hand through his hair. “ _What_? Give me your next argument, and I’ll tell you why it’s bullshit.”

“I would love to pretend that I’m some martyr just trying to protect you from myself,” Even says. “And if that’s all that was going on, then maybe your points would be enough to get me to change my mind.”

“But?”

“But, the complete truth is that I’ve been hurt too, Isak. Really fucking hurt, and I feel all of it, all the time. I can’t take on anymore.”

Isak frowns, beginning to understand. “You think I’ll hurt you?”

“I don’t think you want to, but I don’t think Sonja or Clay wanted to either. Look, when I put everything into a relationship, when I share all the shit I feel with someone else, it just gets really fucking messy. My feelings are safe when I’m dancing. They’re a threat anywhere else.”

There is a deep sadness in Even, a shame Isak feels even if he can’t quite understand it. Part of him wants to push a little more, ask another question, maybe hold his hand. _I don’t need a relationship, I don’t need a definition, but I like you, and I will be here for you however you need to be._

But the thing is, he’s not sure that would be entirely honest. He’ll always be after something more with Even because Even makes him feel more, believe in something more. And if he keeps hoping for that without ever getting it—

Well, there are some feelings Isak doesn’t want to know.

“I don’t think we can be friends.”

“Isak—”

“I’m sorry.”

\---

Tonight, Isak and Eva end up at his apartment with a case of beer, and it feels too familiar.

“Thanks for letting me stay,” Eva says as Isak makes his bed on the couch. He always takes the couch because he barely sleeps anyway.

“Yeah, anytime. You know that,” Isak says, and Eva nods. “But if you didn’t want to be alone, why not spend the night with Jonas?”

“Because I’m as bad at being a girlfriend as I am at everything else?” Eva says, and Isak rolls his eyes. “I’m serious! He said all the right things—God, he was like one of those inspirational posters in the studio—and I just got pissed at him because I couldn’t believe any of it.”

“Maybe you just need time.”

Eva shakes her head. “I’ve had time, Isak. I’ve been at this for years, and now I think I need to accept that I’m just not good enough. Because if I get my hopes up again and get rejected again—I really don’t think I’ll be able to handle that. I want this to be the most heartbroken I ever get about this.”

Isak nods, understanding now. “I get it.”

Eva frowns. “You’re either being sensitive because things went really well with Even or—”

“I’m not that sensitive.”

“I’m sorry.”

Isak shrugs. “I can’t try anymore either.”

“Well,” Eva says, raising her beer to Isak’s. “To giving up?”

Isak clinks his glass against hers. “Cheers.”


	6. Six

**Eight Count**

**Eva  
** Hey guys, sorry I’ve been kind of silent lately. I’ve been thinking a lot since we didn’t get into the festival, and I’ve decided that I can’t be part of this company anymore. Sorry again.

_Eva has left the group._

**Mahdi**  
Uh what the fuck?

 **Vilde**  
She can’t leave? It’s her company?  
And she’s doing it on Facebook?

 **Noora**  
I’m calling her

Maybe give her space right now

 **Mutta**  
ISAK  
You’ll fix this!  
Give her an inspirational pep talk!  
Get Even to write it for you!  
Isak I’m going to keep typing until I see you typing  
What did everyone have for lunch?

Can we drop it?  
It’s her choice if she doesn’t want to be part of this

 **Chris**  
But does she not WANT to?  
Or is she just bummed?

 **Mutta**  
So wise baby  
Alright since Isak has GIVEN UP ON HIS BEST FRIEND  
Even will have to give the pep talk himself  
Who wouldn’t listen to someone with those eyes?  
Even  
Even  
Even

_Even has left the group._

**Mutta  
** WHAT

Seriously  
Drop it

 **Yousef**  
Did I miss something?

 **Noora**  
She’s not picking up

 **Chris  
** I don’t want this to end

 **Vilde**    
I don’t see why we have to quit just because Eva did  
I could choreograph something for us

            Eva didn’t just choreograph  
She directed  
Coordinated our schedules  
Booked the studio  
Found opportunities for us

  
**Vilde**  
Like festivals we didn’t get into?

Fuck off

 **Vilde**  
Don’t be rude  
I’m just saying a new perspective could be good for us

 **Noora  
** Seriously Vilde?

You guys do whatever you want  
I’m out

 **Yousef**  
Wait, we can still work this out  
Isak can you tell us what’s going on?

_Isak has left the group._

Isak slips his phone into his pocket and turns to Eva, whose own phone is turned off. “Bad?” she asks.

Isak rolls his eyes. “Vilde’s staging a coup.”        

Eva’s sprawled out on Jonas’s couch, legs sticking straight up in the air. Isak’s carved out a spot beside her as Jonas is making them nachos. “She doesn’t have bad intentions, she just…” Eva trails off, frowning. “She needs this group, and she needs to feel like she’s valued. I don’t think she’s ever believed her dancing is enough. Or even just, who she is.”

Eva’s staring at her own feet as she wiggles them in the air, so she doesn’t meet Isak’s gaze when he looks at her. He’s always and only been annoyed by Vilde. He never saw that in her. He never would’ve thought to look.

“That’s why you put her in charge of costumes.”

“Well yeah, but she’s also good at it? It’s not like I did her a favour.”

“But you helped her realize her own strengths,” Jonas says from the kitchen, and Isak catches Eva roll her eyes.

She sighs as she gets up, moving towards Jonas. “Are you putting enough cheese on those?” she asks, looping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Everyone has a different definition of enough.”

“The entire bag, asshole.”

“Then no.”

“Ugh. What are you even good for?”

It’s a nice scene. Maybe she doesn’t even need to dance.

Jonas turns around so he’s facing Eva, brushing her hair behind her ears. “Well, I can tell you that you’re fucking hot,” he says, kissing her forehead. “That you’re driven, and independent, and that you’re damn good at what you’ve always done.”

“Ok.” Eva steps away from him. “Can we not do this again? Have you looked at my CV yet?”

“CV?” Isak interrupts.

“I want to get on with a temp agency,” Eva says. “Build some of that office experience I apparently need.”

“What about picking up classes at the studio?”

“I realized it’s not productive for me to be around ten-year-old’s who are better than I am. I just need to get away from dance entirely.”

When Eva told Isak she was giving up, he didn’t realize it meant _entirely._ He’s never known Eva as anything but a dancer, and he’s not sure she’s known herself as anything else either. “But you’re still going to dance, right?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel good anymore.”

It’s not that Isak doesn’t get it, he was in that place himself—but he also got out of it, found his passion again, even if it was short-lived. And tied up in missing Even is missing that feeling, that release, that one place he could be completely vulnerable and completely himself.

It’s not right, for Eva to lose that along with her dreams, but he does understand how they’re tangled together.

“I haven’t looked at your CV” Jonas says.

 “Seriously, Jonas?” Eva says. “You couldn’t do one fucking thing for me?”

“Hey, don’t get pissed. I will—if you really want me to, I will, but you’ve got to tell me that you really want me to.”

“It’s not for you to say what I want to do.”

“I know. That’s why I’m asking you again.”

“And it’s not entirely about what I want, either. I know this isn’t how your dream world works, but I need a job to earn money to do things like pay rent and buy food. Dancing was never going to do that.”

“I get that, and I get if you want a job that has nothing to do with dance, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop dancing or even that you should give up the company.” Jonas steps closer to brush her cheek with his thumb. “Eva, it was all you talked about before. You love it, not just performing, but creating something, helping people like Vilde—you always told me you’d love that more than you loved me. And hey, I was chill with that because I like seeing you in love with something.” 

“It sounds unhealthy,” Eva says.

“Fuck that. You’re allowed to be passionate about things. And even if you were shit at it, I’d still think you should do it.”

Eva has a response for everything until she doesn’t, and her quiet always raises red flags for Isak. He should say something, maybe, but he barely knows what side he’s on here.

“You don’t think I can do anything else,” Eva says.

“What the fuck?” Jonas says. “That’s not what I said.”

“No, but you always make fun of me for not being in school, twirling around all day—”

“I was just joking.” At Eva’s glare, he says, “Ok, fuck. I’m sorry. Seriously, I didn’t know it got to you like that.”

“It’s not like you’re wrong. Everything I read about CVs said to quantify your accomplishments, but I don’t have anything to quantify. I can bullshit about the creativity and leadership skills I used with the company, but it’s not going to mean anything when they realize the company completely failed.”

Isak should definitely be saying something right now. He should have the perfect words to encourage her in whatever the fuck she decides to do, but since he doesn’t have the perfect words, he doesn’t say anything at all. Looking at Jonas, Isak knows he’s thinking the same thing.

“You know, I think I’m just going to go home,” Eva says in their quiet. “There should be a bus soon, so.”

“At least let me drive you,” Jonas says.

“No, I—I can do this on my own, so at least I’ve got that going for me.” Eva gives a halfhearted thumbs up.

“Do you want me to come with?” Isak asks. Maybe he doesn’t know what to say or how to help, but he at least knows how to be there for her.

“Not tonight?” Eva says, and Isak doesn’t think he’s ever felt this useless. “I’ll text you tomorrow, I just need to cry into my pillow or something.”

Jonas follows her to the door, whispers something Isak’s not meant to overhear. Eva nods, accepting a small kiss from him before she leaves.

While Isak and Jonas are friends, they’ve never hung out without Eva there. Isak’s creating his own excuse to leave when Jonas says, “So, you want some nachos?”

Fuck it. He might as well stay, because if he goes home alone now, all he’ll do is worry about Eva. “Yeah, sure.”

They talk about school because that’s the go-to conversation with acquaintances. _How long is your program, what classes do you like, what do you want to after graduation_? Isak already knows Jonas’s answers from Eva, and he suspects Jonas knows his as well, but they keep up the charade anyway. It’s only occurring to Isak now how isolating this topic could have been to Eva.

“So for you, the dance thing is what?” Jonas asks. “A hobby?”

That word’s never felt quite right to Isak. “No. I mean, it’s not a career, but I guess it’s like a passion?” He feels kind of stupid saying the word out loud, even if that’s what he’s after.

“That’s cool.”

“Thanks.”

“So you’ll miss the company too.”

Isak shrugs. “It’s not really mine to miss.”

Isak’s only ever known Jonas to be laidback, easygoing, _chill_ —someone to balance Eva out when she can’t be any of those things. When he told her that, she laughed and said, “You need to see Jonas when he gets going about something he cares about.”

As he watches Jonas’s expression change into furrowed eyebrows and a frown, Isak thinks he might be seeing it now.

“No, fuck that. You’ve built it together since you were kids.”

“Not exactly—”

“It’s kind of fucked that you’re giving up on her now.”

“What the fuck?” Jonas barely even knows Isak, and he sure as hell doesn’t know Isak’s relationship with Eva. “I tried to encourage her, and it didn’t work. If she wants to quit, she’s going to quit. That has nothing to do with me.”

“Do you actually believe she wants to?”

If he did, this would be easy. People quit all the time without it being this tragic thing. Passions change, goals change, people change, and they move on. No big deal.

But none of that’s changed for Eva, Isak knows that by how much it’s hurting her not to dance. She’s just convinced herself she has to move on.

“No, but I get why she wants to stop trying.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jonas says, softening. “But I think this is going to hurt her more.”

“I do too.”

Neither of them quite know what to do with that, so Jonas takes the conversation somewhere else. “You know, she told me about Even.”

Isak’s not surprised. She’d never tell someone like Yousef or Vilde about Isak’s personal life, but she probably figured Jonas was far enough removed from Isak’s life that it didn’t even count as a secret. “Ok?”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.” Isak looks away, unsure if he wants Jonas in this part of his life too. He already has Eva. Jonas, however, keeps his gaze steady.

“She said he helped you? With your dancing?”

“I guess.” Isak likes the safety of understatements. “And some other stuff.”

“I know it sucks now, but are you still glad you had whatever thing you had?”

Isak’s nodding before he’s even thought about his answer. But even though it’s really fucking hurting him now, of course he’s glad he knew Even. He’s really glad he danced with him. It helped him access everything he could feel, and Isak does not regret that.

Eva deserves to feel that freedom again. 

“I don’t get dance,” Jonas says. “I’m not going to convince Eva it’s worth trying again. You might be able to.”

Isak nods, despite having no fucking clue how to do that. He knows that he owes it to her to try.

“But,” Jonas continues. “You’re going to have to believe it yourself first.”

\---

“I told you we should have studied at your place.”

Isak tenses when he hears Mutta’s voice, waiting for the low one that’s like a song Isak could dance to. He picks out Yousef, Elias, Mikael, Adam—no Even.

Isak exhales, and Sana raises an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“That things didn’t work out between you and Even.”

“How do you even know about that?”

“You didn’t blow me off for him?”

“It’s not a big deal.” Isak shrugs, redirecting his gaze from Sana to his laptop. “I’m so fucked for this exam, so we can focus?”

Sana nods, but it’s a lost cause as soon as the voices move into the kitchen where they’re studying.

“Isak!” Mutta says, clamping his hands down on Isak’s shoulders. “Man, I’ve missed you.”

“Really hasn’t been that long,” Isak says.

“Bro, it’s bullshit you didn’t get in to that festival,” Adam says. “Not with your stellar production team.”

“I don’t think it was about the videography.”

“No, I’m telling you, it’s all about exposure,” Elias says. “We should have done more behind-the-scenes stuff, built your following—”

“Isak and I are trying to study,” Sana interrupts with a tone none of them are stupid enough to question. There are times Isak truly loves her.

“Ok, ok, chill,” Elias says. “We’ll leave you alone.”

And they do, but Yousef lingers behinds. Isak assumes it’s for Sana, but Yousef directs his attention towards Isak instead.

“Hey. How have you been?” Yousef asks.

Sana looks between them like she’s as confused by the scene as Isak is. “Fine?” Isak says.

“Could we maybe talk for a minute?” Yousef looks towards Sana, awkward. “Alone?”

“Oh, you two are not talking about me without me present,” Sana says. “That is not how this is going to work.”

“Actually, it’s not about you,” Yousef says with a teasing grin, and Sana blushes. “Though I would like Isak’s advice on how to officially ask you out.”

Sana smirks. “You should never take Isak’s advice on anything. Just ask me.”

“Ok. I’ll do that."

Isak makes a show of standing up and pushing his chair out. “Let’s go outside. I need to get away from all the love in the air.”

“Good call,” Sana says. “Too much and you’ll start melting.”

They end up on Sana’s swing-set, swaying back-and-forth but staying close to the ground.

“Do you know how Even’s doing?” Yousef asks, and Isak shakes his head.

“No, we’re not really talking.” Isak plants his feet into the ground to stop the swing. “Why?”

“It’s just that Elias invited him out today and he said no, maybe it was because of me….” Yousef trails off, staring at his own feet. “I’m worried he’s isolating himself again. That’s all.”

Isak takes a moment to consider this conversation. Even’s only given him the SparkNotes version of his story, and Isak’s not particularly interested in hearing anyone else’s interpretation of it.

Still, he isn’t quite noble enough to completely ignore his curiosity.

“I don’t know a lot about what happened with you guys in high school,” Isak says. “Just that he had a rough time before he moved.”

“You could say that.”

“But I don’t really get how he’s friends with Mutta and the other guys again, but not with you,” Isak says.

“Because I didn’t try to be friends with him again.” Yousef turns around in his swing so he’s facing Isak. “When everything went down in high school, we all tried to talk him, but he ignored us. After he moved, I figured I’d never see him again, but I didn’t know the other guys were still trying to reach out to him. It was never a group thing—just one day Mikael said they were talking again, then Elias said the same thing.”

“Why didn’t you talk to him then?”

“Guilt?” Yousef sighs. “I didn’t pay enough attention to what he was going through in high school. I didn’t even recognize there was a problem, and I introduced him to these ideas that made him obsess….”

Yousef trails off, and Isak understands he can’t give any more details than that. “So your solution now is what, to ignore him? Never talk about it?”

Yousef laughs. “It’s not going to work, is it?”

“Probably not.”

“I don’t know. It feels like too much time has passed.”

Isak shakes his head because he doesn’t want to believe in that. “Or, maybe Even deserves to know that relationships can heal.”

“Maybe.” Yousef watches his own feet as he traces circles in the dirt, then looks at Isak again. “So, why’d you guys stop talking?”

“Oh, we’re turning this on me now?”

 “Sana’s taught me how to do that.”

Isak knows he won’t get out this conversation if Yousef’s learned from the master. “He doesn’t want a relationship because he says he’s been too hurt.”

Yousef hums. “So the healing thing’s important, then.”

“I think so.” Though Isak’s not sure all that responsibility should rest with Yousef. It’s different in that Isak wasn’t even given an opportunity to hurt Even, not really, but maybe they could at least have that conversation, talk about how they could work through hard stuff.

Isak’s tried to ignore it every time it’s entered his mind, but he misses Even. It’s weird not to share music, dances, or feelings with him, and Isak’s learned he doesn’t enjoy keeping those things to himself. And he really doesn’t think Even does, either.

It could be worth a try.

“How’s Eva?” Yousef asks.

“Not good,” Isak says. “It’s not just that she left the company, or that she doesn’t want this to be her career. She’s not dancing at all.”

“That’s going to kill her.”

“I know. I want to help her get back to it, but I really don’t know how.”

“Well, you know who might have some ideas.”

Yousef raises his eyebrows, and it’s obvious. Not only has Even helped Isak, but he’s said that he didn’t dance at all towards the end of his stay in L.A., so he’ll understand where Eva’s at. Between his love for dance and Isak’s love for Eva, they might be able to pull her out of that place.

That’s definitely worth a try.

Yousef heads back inside, but Isak hangs back and calls Even.

“Isak?” Even says in lieu of hello, and Isak realizes he’s relieved Even didn’t delete his number. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah. I just need your help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been sad, but I'm really going to embrace the cheesy dance movie tropes in these last two chapters. Hopefully that'll make up for it. ;) 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http:/brionbroadway.tumblr.com)


	7. Seven

Isak’s early.

He had to be, otherwise he’d spend the entire afternoon anxious, staring at his socks, waiting for his phone to buzz with the news that Even’s cancelled. At the studio, he can at least direct that energy into warming up—though he’s not even sure if he’s going to dance. Even just said they might as well meet there since he had the space booked anyway.

It was nice to know that Even’s still dancing, even if he’s doing it alone.

He hears the music from outside the door— _For My Help_ by Hayden Calnin, another overused competition song a little too dramatic for Isak’s taste—but walks in anyway, still eager to watch Even dance.

But Even isn’t alone.

Isak’s eyes are drawn to Yousef, the restraint and control in his movement so different from the big, wild moves Even’s doing beside him. It’s no less affecting, though. If anything, Yousef conveys so much emotion in something as simple as reaching out his hand that he doesn’t need the theatrics of grand leaps or dramatic falls. It’s simple, sweet, and sincere, all of the qualities Isak believes drew Sana to him.

Even seems to appreciate it as well. Their partner work is awkward at best and dangerous at worst, but that doesn’t stop either of them from going for it, trying to trust and help each other again.

Yousef notices Isak first, just as the song ends. “Sorry,” he says, and Even follows his voice until he meets Isak’s gaze. Even smiles at him, and Isak relaxes. “We ran late.”

“No problem,” Isak says.

“I’ll text you about tonight?” Yousef says to Even. “Elias wants to do the whisper challenge, so it’s going to be hours of your life you’ll never get back—”

Even laughs. “Yeah, just text me when to come over.”                        

Isak knows this moment is not about him, but he still gives himself some credit. He says goodbye to Yousef, then turns his attention to Even. “You made a new friend.”

“Mm, more like a new chance with an old friend.”                                 

“That’s awesome.”

Even studies Isak for a moment, his own smile fading. Isak’s stomach drops along with because maybe he’s overstepped, if they’re not even friends maybe they can’t talk about this stuff, maybe he shouldn’t even fucking be here—

“So, Eva’s not doing great?”

Relieved, Isak nods and gives the full explanation he couldn’t over the phone. “I just want to help her remember that she loves it,” Isak says. “And you helped me find what I loved about dance again so, yeah. I called you.”

“I mean, I’ll do what I can.” Even sits down against the mirrors and Isak sits opposite him, more comfortable now that they’re settling into conversation. “But helping you was easy because…you know.”

Isak raises his eyebrows to communicate that he does not.

“We connect.” Even shrugs it off as it sits on Isak’s shoulders. “It’s not like I have that with Eva, so I don’t exactly know what you want me to do here.”

“Maybe you could tell me what it was like, when you didn’t dance? And how you got back to it.” Isak pauses, then adds, “If you’re comfortable with that.”

Even’s silence makes Isak nervous. He focuses on the way Even’s tracing circles on the ground, like his feelings are safest in his dancing fingertips. “You know how you can almost convince yourself that you don’t deserve happiness?”

Isak…doesn’t, not really. He’s believed that happiness wasn’t in the cards for him, many times, but that always made him feel like he was robbed of something he was entitled to. This is different.

“I fucked everything up,” Even says. “In high school, in L.A., in my relationships, and I believed it was all my fault. Dance made me feel good, but why the fuck should I get to feel good?”

“Because you’re human and actually a really great person?”

Even nods. “I’m past that now. Or—I’m working on getting past that through a lot of therapy. But at the time, I believed that the same way I believed the sky was blue.”

“That’s a really simplistic belief—”

Even laughs, and even when the sound ends, he leaves a smile for Isak. “You are very sweet, but I promise I’m closer to fine now than I’ve been in awhile. But anyway, that’s why I stopped dancing. And it was shit, because when I wasn’t dancing, I wasn’t trusting myself to feel anything.”

Isak takes it in, forming an argument in their silence. Ok, he’s dancing again, but he’s still not trusting himself to feel anywhere else—

“It’s probably different for Eva.”

And Isak remembers who this is about.

“Maybe it’s kind of similar? She just doesn’t believe she’s good enough, like she doesn’t deserve dance.”

Even hums. “Do you know why she loves it?”

Isak hesitates, embarrassed to admit that he doesn’t. That’s a pretty fucking basic thing to know about your best friend, right? “I’m not sure.”

“Why’d she start dancing?”

“Her aunt owns this studio. Her parents worked all the time, so it was like free babysitting.”

“Why’d she keep doing it?” Isak shrugs, hating that he never thought to ask. “For me, it was because I had all this energy as a kid, so my parents put me in everything they could. Dance stuck because I could be sad there, and angry there, and scared there, and it was all ok.”

“It was the vulnerability for me,” Isak says, remembering how easy it is to be open with Even, honest. “Watching Eva dance, and how open she was…I thought it must be so fucking freeing to live like that.”

“I get that. That was probably part of the appeal for Eva too.”

Something clicks for Isak.

“Yeah, because she’s good at that. Feelings and shit. Dance values that.”

“And the world doesn’t.”

Isak shakes his head because no, that kind of sounds like bullshit. “Not the entire world, though. Yeah, there are assholes and people who don’t know that empathy is a thing, but then there are people like—”

“You.”

Isak shrugs. “I’m trying my best.”

They sit too long in the silence. And they both know it’s too long, Isak’s fucking sure that Even knows it, but neither of them acknowledge it.

“I started dancing again,” Even begins. “Because Mutta asked me to dance with you guys.”

“Seriously?” Isak asks. “That simple?”

“Well, yes and no. It was therapy, getting a fresh start, and the fact that I like Mutta, but just the idea of being in a space where people accepted and valued feelings again…yeah, that appealed to me.”

Isak considers that. He can’t understand exactly why Eva loves dance, exactly why she quit, or exactly what will motivate her again, and in a way, it’s not even his place to do that. He’s been analyzing this like an equation, looking for a concrete cause and effect, but Eva’s always been more concerned with feelings than facts. It’s why they work as friends.

And really, all he needs to do is be her friend. Just ask her to dance again.

“Oh, your gears are turning,” Even says. “I can see it in your squint.”

Isak directs his focus to Even, who is so generous with people, who is so kind, who still somehow believes his feelings only belong in dance.

Fuck that.

“You’re glad you started dancing again, right?” Isak asks.

“Of course.”

“So why wouldn’t you let yourself feel in the rest of your life? What’s the fucking difference?” Even’s quiet, so Isak guesses the answer. “The hurt? I get it, you’ve been really fucking hurt, but you’re never going to feel the really fucking good stuff if you don’t risk feeling that again.”

Isak waits for Even to figure out his response, even as the silence makes him anxious. He’ll sit with him in it, he’ll sit with him in everything—if he’s only given the opportunity.

“I think,” Even says. “That I need to think through some stuff.”

But he says like a promise instead of a rejection: not a guarantee they’ll be together, but a vow to consider it differently than he did before.

Isak wants to ensure the scales are tipped in his favour.

“We’re great dancer partners,” he says, and Even nods his agreement. “I don’t love everything you feel because I know how it hurts you. But, I still want to feel everything with you."

Even smiles at that.

“If I decide to have a partner, Isak, of course I’m going to choose you.”

\---

“Is this a set-up?”

“I don’t know what would give you that impression.”

Eva raises her eyebrows at Isak, eyes darting around the empty studio. “Well, for one,” she says. “You hate choreographing, but suddenly you have a piece you want help with?"

“I told you. I was feeling inspired.”

“And basically all of your other friends are dancers, but you want my input?”

Isak rolls his eyes. “Because no one’s as good as you.”

“Oh, now I know this is a set-up.”

Isak shrugs, smirking. Yeah, of fucking course it’s a set-up, and Eva knew it the moment he asked. He is absolutely using her loyalty to him to give her some loyalty to herself.

She came, and as long as she’s here, they can dance together. He thinks it’s going to help.

“Ok, whatever,” Eva says, sitting against the wall. “Show me what you’ve got.”

“Can you just press play on my phone?”

Eva reaches for Isak’s phone beside her, groaning once she reads what’s on screen. “Fucking hell, are you serious?”

“Oh yeah.”

“You hate this song.”

“I never said _hate_ \--”

“This is such a fucking set-up!”

Isak doesn’t respond, focusing on the sounds of water filling the studio. The song is _How Far I’ll Go_ from _Moana_ , a movie they both refuse to admit they cried at. But he remembers what Eva said when they watched it, that she understood the pull of water, that she believed in its power to take her somewhere beautiful as much as its power to pull her under.

Isak’s choreography does not reflect that, and he knows it. It was not for a lack of trying: he’s just a shit choreographer, much better at executing someone else’s steps than creating his own. He’s not capturing that pull, that passion that moves you to something even when it’s not logical.

“I know what you’re doing,” Eva says when he finishes.

“I know.”

Eva sighs like she doesn’t want to get into this, but he’s not surprised when she stands up. It’s the pull. “You’re missing the guts of it,” she says. “Choosing to be brave and go for it has to be just as real as the fear. And then once you’ve made that choice, you need to move in the freedom of that.”

Isak hums. “I might need you to show me what you mean.”

“I hate you.”

“I don’t care as long as you dance with me.”

Eva rolls her eyes, but starts the music again.

They don’t bother with choreography because they both know this isn’t about that. Isak hangs back as Eva begins slow, taking cautious steps forward and larger steps back. There’s more dynamics to her movement as the music picks up, but it all feels unfinished, indecisive. At the chorus, her extensions are longer, she turns with ease, and she smiles with the freedom of someone doing what she loves.

In the second verse, she retreats into the smaller movements again, and Isak knows it’s time to join her. He stays with her in the indecision and fear, but when the music picks up again, he’s ready for both of them to dance with their fucking guts.

Isak’s always been drawn to this, feelings and people who lead with them, as much as he used to try to fight that. That’s the pull for him: vulnerability, connection, actually loving other people. He dances with the strain of wanting that, but also the determination that comes along with desire.

In the small break before the final chorus, Isak takes a beat with Eva to connect with her. They are in this together, and they can go after anything together. He reaches his arm to out hers, then they break apart to dance stronger and bolder than they could before. 

When the music ends, they end up sitting across from each other on the floor, neither of them saying much as they’re still dealing with their leftover feelings.

“I didn’t want to stop dancing,” Eva says after awhile. “I just felt like I had to.”

“You don’t.”

“I don’t know if it’s that simple.”

“Of course it is. You felt good doing that, right?” he asks, and Eva nods. “Ok, then you should keep doing it. Who the fuck cares if some judges say you’re not good enough? You’re always going to be pulled to it, so you might as well do it.”

“I _want_ to be good, though. That’s what motivates me too, and maybe that’s obnoxious to say, but it’s true.”

“And do you think you’ll get better by sitting on your ass?”

Eva laughs. “No, I guess not.”

“I’m going to get cheesy for a second, ok?”

“Isak, you literally just made us dance to _Moana_.”

“Shut up and let me be sincere.” Eva holds out her hands as though she’s giving Isak the floor. He clears his throat because something’s caught in it now. “I need you to know that it doesn’t matter if you dance. That’s not what gives you value. You’re a good friend—fuck, you’re good to everyone, and that matters more than anything else.”

“I’m going to throw up.” But it sounds like there’s something caught in her throat, too.

“You should keep dancing because you fucking love it. You deserve that.”

“I might need some help believing that.”

That’s ok. Isak has an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've showed a lot of restraint in not linking dance videos every chapter lol, but I really encourage you to watch the couple at 2:26 in [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-bsd6FSZDY) dancing to How Far I'll Go. I've watched this...a million times? And imagining them as Isak and Eva pretty much inspired this fic.
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was told last chapter not to show any restraint in sharing dance videos, to which I say: you asked for it. I'll link all the ones that inspired me in the end notes.
> 
> My pal Rino made a gorgeous edit for this fic using some of those dance videos. You can check it out on their tumblr @evenshands [here](http://evenshands.tumblr.com/post/172861371893/and-isak-she-says-right-when-he-believed-he). Rino, your encouragement and enthusiasm has made this fic really, really fun. I love you so much.
> 
> We're going real cheesy for the end. We've earned it, right? :)

If Isak admired Eva before, he is in awe of her now. 

After two weeks of coordinating changing schedules, accepting unsolicited feedback on his choreography, and managing egos that are larger than they deserve to be, Isak knows that Eight Count will not survive without her. She loves the people enough to deal with their bullshit, and she’s earned enough trust that people actually listen to her when she calls them out on it.

Isak isn’t respected in quite the same way. 

He’s too short with people because they’re fucking annoying, he’s not a good enough choreographer to get others to believe in his vision, and he’s kind of piecing this whole thing together without a clear plan.

But everyone knows that he loves Eva, and they love her too, so they’re all trying to do this for her.

It helps that Isak’s had Even in his corner, improving his choreography without being patronizing, keeping everyone laughing throughout rehearsal, and recruiting his friends to film and edit the final product.

Not to mention the texts he sends Isak, late at night: _It’s so cool you’re doing this_ and _I’m here for whatever you need_ and _I know we spend the whole afternoon dancing together, but I wish we were together right now._ Or the smiles he shoots Isak in the mirror when he gets cranky during rehearsal, reminders to lighten the fuck up. Or how no matter what kind of day he’s having, talking to Even for five minutes always improves it.

And Isak doesn’t want to push anything, doesn’t want to scare Even away, but for fuck’s sake, could he think things through a little faster?

Isak’s phone pings with an email from Even: _I think we have something._

He downloads the attached video, and as he watches it, it’s like he’s exhaling for the first time in two weeks. 

He texts Even instead of emailing him because that makes it more likely they’ll keep talking.

_We definitely have something._

\---

“Isak, I swear to God, I’m not dancing to _Moana_ again—”

Isak shakes his head as he holds the studio door open for Eva. “Oh, you’re underestimating me. I have something much cheesier planned.”

“Is this another set-up?”

Isak doesn’t need to answer the question because Eva’s greeted by everyone in the company, as well as honorary guests of Jonas, Sana, Mikael, Elias, and Adam. Mikael and Even are sitting behind a laptop attached to a projector, and there’s a screen set-up against the wall.

It’s not like it’s a surprise birthday party, so no one quite knows what to say when they see Eva. She’s met with a chorus of “Hey!” and “Eva!” and indistinguishable high-pitched noises meant to convey excitement. Eva’s too stunned to speak herself, until she directs a glare at Isak.

“Evil,” she says. “You’re evil.”

“I promise I’m using my powers for good.”

Isak gestures for her and everyone else to sit down, and Jonas guides Eva to a spot where she sits tucked underneath his arm. Once everyone’s settled, Isak takes his own place beside the screen. Even winks at him from behind the laptop, and it gives Isak exactly the kind of confidence he needs to make a speech.

“Eva,” he says. “This is a set-up.”

Eva flips him off. Isak smirks and continues. “But it wasn’t actually that hard,” he lies. “Because everyone in this room loves you and this company, so we wanted to make something that shows you how much you mean to us. And maybe it’ll help remind you that you love this too.”

Isak gestures for Even to start the video, then takes a seat beside Eva. “Just so you know,” he whispers as the video loads. “This is going to make you cry.” 

“You’re the worst.”

But he catches her smile before the video captures her attention.

The video opens on an interview with Noora.

“You want me to talk about Eva?” she says into the camera. “How much time do we have?”

It cuts to the company doing the beginning of the piece Isak choreographed to _The Greatest_ by Sia. The movement is choppy and insecure, but there’s a strain behind everything, like everyone’s fucking fighting for it. 

Then, it’s a montage of interview clips from every company member, talking about where they were before they joined. Quietly and with downcast eyes, Vilde says she didn’t have confidence in herself. Mutta and Chris do a joined interview, saying they felt stuck in their dancing, like they didn’t know how to take it to the next level. Even concludes the segment by saying, “I wasn’t dancing at all. And it was killing me.”

It cuts back to Isak’s choreography, everyone a little stronger in it now. The strain’s still there, the fight’s still there, but everyone’s more solid on their feet.

The video goes back to interviews, this time starting with Mahdi. “It sounds stupid,” he says. “But my life was just going to school and everything was just kind of pointless. This gave me something to do that I care about.”

Noora’s next. “I think the company, and Eva especially, helped me open up to people. You have to trust your dance partners with everything you’re feeling, so I learned how to do that. It’s changed my life.”

Then, Yousef. “I don’t quite know how to explain it, but being here reminds of my prayer—the good parts of it, anyway. It gives you the kind of honesty you need to heal, and I really needed that once I lost prayer.”

The video cuts to the ending of Isak’s piece, though it’s moved from his choreography into improv. He told them to do whatever the fuck they wanted to, as long as they danced with each other. And it’s honestly a bit of a mess, but it’s worth to watch Mutta twirl Chris, the strength Noora uses to lift Vilde, and the way Even looks at Isak like he’s more connected to him than his own body.

Ok. Isak might be a little biased with where he directs his focus.

Finally, the video shows Isak’s interview.

“My life was shit until Eva invited me to the studio,” he says on screen. Beside him, Eva reaches her hand out to his, and she’s beginning to tear up. “And then it was like, I saw an entirely different way I could live? Just being honest and vulnerable. I had to fucking work to get there, to be half as good as Eva is, but she was always my best teacher. And my best friend.”

The video cuts to a montage of old footage Isak found, everything from rehearsal videos to Instagram posts of them just fucking around. Eva’s in every clip, always laughing the loudest and loving the hardest.

At the end of the montage, Isak appears on screen again.

“Eva,” he says. “Will you dance with us?”

Eva’s crying as the video ends, Jonas kissing her cheek and whispering something to her. Everyone waits until the silence threatens to ruin this dramatic moment they’ve carefully planned.

“Well?” Isak says, laughing. “Are you going to stand me up or what?”

Eva shakes her head, laughing now too. “No, no, ok. Let’s fucking dance.”

\---

Eva chooses the song for them to improv to.

It’s _Move Together_ by James Bay, and Isak raises his eyebrows at the choice. “Does that fit the mood of the night?” he asks. 

“Mm, maybe not what you had in mind,” Eva says. “But it’s a sweet song. It’s just about being with someone, and you know, tonight doesn’t have to be all about me.”

She tilts her head in Even’s direction as though Isak didn’t get the memo. “Very subtle.”

“Isak, you choreographed an inspirational dance for me to the most predictable song in the universe. And edited into a sappy montage, just to get me dancing again.”

Isak shrugs. “Your point?”

Eva smiles. “My point,” she says, voice getting quieter as she gets a little more serious. “Is that you’re a great friend, and I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“I am amazing, aren’t I?”

Eva smacks his arm. “ _Yes_ , but now you need to show someone else how amazing you are. Someone tall, and handsome, and who is staring at you right now….”

Isak follows Eva’s gaze, catching Even looking at him. Even doesn’t try to hide it, just smiles at Isak.

“Isak,” Eva says. “Go get your man.”

“I will,” Isak says, meaning it. “But I still want to dance with you first. Wouldn’t feel right otherwise.”

“I suppose I can give you one dance.”

Mikael clears the projector and screen out of the way as he leaves, Adam and Elias following behind him. Sana stands up to leave as well, but Yousef invites her to stay, and Eva does the same for Jonas. 

“You can work the music,” Eva says to Jonas. “Be my roadie.”

Jonas smiles. “I’d be honoured.”

He starts the music, and Isak’s struck by how easy everything feels now. Dancing with Eva to a simple song, neither of them trying to impress or innovate, just feeling the love in it and they love have for each other. He knows it doesn’t mean everything’s ok now, that Eva will never struggle with insecurity again, that she’ll have a successful career, or that the company will become anything more than nine friends dancing together. 

But to be nine friends dancing together, that’s pretty special in itself. 

And of course, everyone wants to dance with Eva. Vilde’s the first to swoop in and steal her, though they’re laughing more than they’re dancing. Isak scans the room for Even, finding him dancing with Yousef. Not wanting to interrupt, he joins Mutta and Chris, who are not even trying to match the music as they play off each other. They’re happy to invite Isak into it, and he’s just as happy to have some fun after the stress of the last two weeks. He does, actually, love these people just as much as Eva does, even if he lacks her patience.

When Mutta and Chris go to find Yousef, Isak knows it’s his chance. Even’s dancing alone, and he needs to know that he doesn’t have to anymore.

Reaching for Even’s arm, Isak turns into his chest, bringing them into a slow dance as he wraps his arms around Even’s waist. Even throws his arms around Isak’s neck, accepting the invitation.

And they just sway together, simple and sweet. In the mirror, Isak catches Eva and Jonas in a similar position.

Even shifts like he wants to bring them into something more complex, but Isak doesn’t follow his lead. Instead, he tightens his grip and whispers, “Wait. Let’s stay here for a moment. Just feel each other.”

Even hums, the noise blending into the music.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Even whispers. “Everything you’ve done for Eva, how sweet you are. And honest, and passionate…fuck, Isak. It’s so hard not to fall in love with you.”

“Ok. Then fall in love with me.” Even smiles at that. “I’m serious. Right now, dancing with everyone, with you, feeling all this shit, this is all I care about. This is what I want my life to be like, and I know it’s what you want too. Even if that means it’ll hurt sometimes. We’re meant to dance, Even. We’re meant to feel this.”

Even nods, pressing his forehead against Isak’s. “Ok. You're right."

“Wait, seriously? _Ok_?”

Even laughs. “Seriously, Isak. I'm sorry I've waited this long, but I really want us to fall in love now."

Isak leans in to kiss Even, and Even turns his head towards him.

They kiss for an eight count, and then they kiss for another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, dance videos that inspired me!
> 
> The Greatest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL7Y7Y_enAg  
> Move Together: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJJZ9Ym6ekc  
> Skin & Bones (Even's solo in chapter five): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5cnR4nqqqw  
> For My Help (inspiration for Even and Yousef dancing): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1oExAjfPdU  
> Unsteady (inspiration for Evak's first improv): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsVXnCGij5o
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Thank you so much for all your support for this fic, and I hope you enjoyed the end!


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